The cabbies embark on a frantic race against time when they team up in a wild nonstop drive from New York to Miami so that Alex can see his long-lost daughter on her twenty minute layover at the airport
Tony gets a chance to spar with a world champion. And when he knocks the man down, he gets a bout with a ranked fighter. Everyone but Louie supports him. But before the fight he learns what really happened between him and the champ.
Alex's romantic instincts are triggered by the sexy voice at the answering service. Her alluring manner prompts him to arrange a dinner date that turns into a big surprise.
The high-spirited taxi gang helps a jittery Bobby fight potential disappointment when he decides that he will end his stage career if he doesn't get an acting job before midnight.
Elaine fears the worst when the cabbies invite themselves to her party for her highbrow art world friends who have no clue that she moonlights as a cab driver.
A pretty girl has John in a whirl, and his determination to meet her prompts the taxi gang to come up with a surefire line that would unfreeze any woman on earth.
Louie, an outcast in high school, dreads the idea of his class reunion. Wanna-be actor Bobby Wheeler comes up with a scheme to help Louie get even with his peers.
Mechanic Latka Gravas faces deportation unless he marries an U.S. citizen. The taxi gang comes to his rescue by pitching in and hiring a local "working girl" to be his bride.
John and his new wife, Suzanne, reach a crisis point in their marriage when one of them must drop out of college due to financial woes.
The taxi gang scrambles to come up with a scheme aimed at ending a one sided romance when a determined, pretty cabbie sets her cap for Tony and joins the Sunshine Cab Co. to be near him.
When John crashes Cab 804, the cabbies are shocked into a period of mourning, as they reminisce about the wild and memorable events that occurred when they were driving the legendary cab.
Mechanic Latka Gravas frantically works to save the cracked-up Cab 804 as the cabbies fondly recall times in the legendary auto when Alex delivered a baby, Louie beat a rich brat out of a wad of money, and Elaine met the perfect man.
A Christmas party at the garage is interrupted when Louie, the dispatcher, teams up with Alex in a game of high stakes poker against his cardshark brother Nick.
Alex befriends a wealthy elderly lady who pays him to take her around the city.
Tony's friendship with Bobby is tested when he leaves town and Bobby mistakenly kills his goldfish.
After an operation, Louie, the sharp-tongued dispatcher, panics when he has to keep a promise that he made to God during surgery to turn over a new leaf.
Alex feels sympathy for a fare who's a real loser with the women and arranges a date for the man with Elaine, who later discovers that her klutzy companion for the evening is a U.S. Congressman.
Bobby's career dreams come true when he lands a role in a soap opera, prompting him to throw his torn-up cabbie's license at Louie, but the dispatcher vows to take revenge if Bobby ever comes crawling back.
Mechanic Latka Gravas' youthful and attractive mother makes her first visit to America, and after she and Alex meet and have an evening love affair, Latka assumes that he will soon be getting a new daddy.
When Alex's ear is nearly shot off in a holdup attempt in his cab, he stuns his fellow cabbies by quitting and exchanging his driving clothes for a waiter's tuxedo at a snobbish French restaurant.
The cabbies fall victim to a Hollywood-style roller coaster ride when a production company visits to do a film on taxi drivers.
With Elaine going out of town to visit her sick aunt, the guys at the garage takes turns watching over her son so that he can compete in a spelling bee.
Zena, the woman who refills the vending machines who has made friends with most of the cabbies, admits to Alex and Elaine that she has a crush on Louie. Elaine is bothered by this, but takes comfort in the fact that Zena is probably too shy to introduce herself. However, Zena asks Alex to introduce them and Alex tentatively agrees. Soon, Louie and Zena become an item and the gang is disgusted at the way Louie explicitly describes their sex life. In private, Zena blows Louie's cover by asking Alex why Louie won't make a single move on her. The next time Louie starts boasting, Alex tells him to give up the charade—he knows nothing has happened. Louie then confesses to Alex that he's used to going out with "professionals" and doesn't know what to do with a "nice girl." Louie then breaks up with Zena, but she insists on a goodbye kiss before they part. She kisses him in such a way that he realizes maybe she's not as "nice" as he thought. Zena then pulls him into the bedroom and it
Alex's sister, Charlotte, comes to the garage and leaves a message that their father is ill in the hospital. When Alex finds out, he appears uninterested, and explains that his father ran out on their family and they haven't spoken in almost thirty years. Eventually, Charlotte prevails upon Alex to visit their father and Alex is shocked to see a very frail old man in the hospital. Alex loses his composure and breaks down, telling his father how much he means to him. All of a sudden, Alex realizes he's been baring his soul to the wrong man when his real, healthy-looking father emerges from the bathroom. Alex then again realizes he has nothing really to say to his father and leaves after uttering hardly a word.
At Mario's, the cabbies run into the spaced-out derelict minister, Reverend Jim, who officiated at Latka's wedding. Charmed by him, yet taking pity on him, they make it their mission to get him a job as a cabbie. Louie is adverse to this at first, but Jim seems to slip a sedative into Louie's coffee and he then changes his tune. The next hurdle is getting Jim a driver's license, which is a challenge as he not only has trouble with his written exam, but his application, as well. Nonetheless, he gets the license and begins work at the garage.
Elaine seems to be spreading herself thin lately, between working overtime at the gallery, driving a cab, and raising her kids. She finally loses it at an important gallery reception and Alex drives her home. She starts coming on to Alex, who, worried about her psychological health, rejects her advances and suggests she get some psychological help. He eventually talks her into it and she seems to progress well in therapy. Now more confident of her psychological help, Alex seems no longer adverse to a romance with Elaine, but she remains cool about it.
Tony brings his fare, a young actor new to New York named Steve, to the garage to meet Bobby, so Bobby can give him acting pointers. Bobby takes Steve under his wing and soon Steve is cast as Romeo off-Broadway. A shocked Bobby then quits acting out of frustration, after seeing how Steve gets a job his second day in New York while Bobby still can't get a break. Bobby, resigned to being a full time cab driver, still shows his acting skills when he runs lines with Steve, but it takes some heckling from Louie to convince him to return to acting—in order to make Louie someday eat his words.
Alex meets up with Angela (his overweight date from the previous season) only to learn she's lost 100 pounds. When they go to dinner, he learns that she did it all for him, making him very nervous because he doesn't really want more than a friendship with Angela but hates to discourage her from losing weight and feeling good about herself. Later, Wayne, a guy from Angela's weight clinic, comes to see Alex in the hopes of finding Angela, who's missing (it seems Wayne has a crush on Angela). Together, they find a very depressed Angela, eating alone in a greasy spoon diner. Alex convinces Angela that she doesn't need to be depressed and that she and Wayne belong together. She and Wayne leave together, but Angela confesses to Alex that the reason she had previously rejected Wayne's advances was because he's married with four kids.
Tony and Bobby's friendship is put to the test when they start dating the same woman, Janet. They begin arguing, prompting Tony to almost punch Bobby out, but eventually Alex convinces them that this rivalry has to end. Tony and Bobby sit down with Janet and ask her to choose between them. Before she announces her decision, Bobby and Tony realize that their friendship could be over, based on her decision, so they decide to both give her up. Janet, bothered that her feelings weren't taken into account, tells them what the guy she was going to choose would be missing, adding that the choice was Bobby.
After Louie reprimands the cabbies for low bookings and boasts of what a good cab driver he used to be, the cabbies propose a contest to see whether Alex or Louie can book more. Louie agrees with the caveat that Elaine must go out with him if he wins. During the contest, Alex forgoes chances to make big money unscrupulously, while Louie tries to con his passengers out of their money whenever possible. When all is said and done, Louie appears to have won by $15. Later, they determine that Alex has been tipped $40, while Louie has only been tipped 85 cents, and Alex is declared the winner, saving Elaine from a frightful night with Louie.
When it is discovered that Latka is living at the garage after being kicked out of his apartment, Alex helps him find a place. Latka is able to find one on his own and invites Alex to see it. The apartment appears to be a beautiful luxury penthouse, and he has misunderstood that the $3000 rent is monthly, as opposed to a one time fee. Alex is about to get Latka out of the arrangement, when he gets the bright idea that the whole gang can share the apartment for the month and see how the other half lives. When the month is up, the gang is reluctant to give up their decadent new lifestyle, so they decide to throw a "rent party" in the hopes of staying another month. However, all the party goers (except Elaine) are male and demand their money back when they see there are no available women. Having lost their apartment, the cabbies agree to help Latka find a new place.
Alex falls for Joyce, an actress friend of Bobby's, in part because (seemingly) he marvels in being a stabilizing factor in her life. When she gets an acting job in Los Angeles, he prepares to propose to her, in the hopes of keeping her in New York. When she learns of his plans, though, she discourages this, and they part on sad but positive note. Later, Jim hilariously and unwittingly makes Alex feel better, involving a case of mistaken identity.
Latka is listening to a radio station that broadcasts in his native language and learns that revolution has broken out in his country. Panicking, he is visited by his friend, Baschi, who emigrated to the States with him, and who has come to fetch Latka to go home to fight in the revolution (it turns out Latka has somehow reached the rank of general in his country's army). A farewell party is thrown for Latka at Mario's, and before they have to leave for the airport, Elaine asks Baschi to draw a map of their country, in an effort to learn more about where they will be fighting. Through Baschi's drawing of where the enemy troops will be situated, it becomes clear that the revolutionaries have an impossible task ahead of them, and Latka thinks better of leaving (as do the rest of his fellow countrymen).
Elaine is upset after having just ended a relationship, but soon begins receiving love poems from a secret admirer. She is eventually convinced that the poems are coming from a new handsome cab driver named Don, and they begin dating. However, Jim has confessed to Alex that he has been the one writing the letters, in an effort to make Elaine feel better. Alex reveals this to Elaine, so she won't continue dating Don under false pretenses. This upsets Elaine greatly, but she is later comforted when she gets home by the gift of a metal sculpture that Jim has made for her out of the roof of his van.
When Zena insists that Louie meet her parents, Louie is so worried about it (Zena's father is a minister) that he bribes Alex to come along with them to dinner, to keep him from embarrassing himself. At dinner, despite Alex's attempts at keeping Louie from acting crude, Louie manages to offend Zena's parents, yet the parents still act gracious towards him. Still, Louie believes the parents have accepted him, until Zena's mother tells him in private that if he tries to marry Zena, she'll have him killed (but makes him vow to keep that a secret).
The gang goes to the track and Jim falls in love with horse racing. Jim starts gambling at the track every day, until Alex tells him of the evils of gambling. Meanwhile, Jim turns out to have already won $10,000 at the track, and what's more, he bought the long-shot horse that he won most of the money on. Jim renames the horse Gary and keeps him in his apartment. However, when the gang comes over to check on Gary, they found he has died. When a depressed Jim returns to the garage, the gang convinces him to hold a funeral service for Gary (since Jim is an ordained minister, after all). Jim gives a touching eulogy that leaves everyone in tears.
Tony seems to get a big break in his boxing career when his manager informs him that aging former champ, Benny Foster, has selected him as an opponent in his comeback fight. At the press conference before the fight, however, Foster announces that he's coming back to inspire (and presumably, financially aid) a wheelchair bound child, Brian Sims, in need of a kidney operation, who thinks of Foster as his hero. Tony, thinking this is a no-win situation, doesn't want to even go through with the fight, but Alex convinces him that this is still a big break for him and that he should go for it. Tony not only ends up fighting, but knocking Foster out, but still feels bad about disappointing Brian. Tony speaks to Brian in the locker room, hoping it will make him feel better, but Brian punches him. Eventually, Tony prevails upon Brian that he wants to be his hero, and the boy agrees—at least until Tony loses a fight.
Tony has been spending time with young Brian, who is now out of his wheelchair and is seemingly back in good health. Tony has really enjoyed all the time spent with Brian, and the gang urges Tony to try to adopt the orphaned boy. It turns out, however, that Brian is trying to get a rich family to adopt him and has seemingly found one, the Brennans. Nonetheless, Tony and Alex go to visit Brian at the Brennans, so Tony can ask Brian if he wants Tony to be his father. Brian is touched, but claims he has to think of his future and thus, would rather stay with the Brennans. Later, Brian shows up at Tony's apartment with a suitcase, saying he was rejected by the Brennans and is there to stay. Tony is still hurt that Brian initially rejected him, though, and makes things a little tough on Brian before he agrees to let him stay.
Latka meets and begins dating Simka, a woman from his home country. Things are going well until they hit a roadblock: Simka is a "mountain person," one of the country's underclass that Latka has been taught to make fun of. When they can't seem to work through the situation, they break up, but soon, Latka is miserable and wants Simka back. Too late, though—she's begun dating a handsome young doctor, and Simka gingerly turns Latka down when he asks if she wants to get back together. Latka is left depressed, but has learned a lesson about prejudices.
Bobby feels very lucky when a top notch theatrical agent (Nora) is in his cab. He makes a pitch to her, telling her about what a good actor he is, and initially she shuns him, but later agrees to watch him in the play he currently stars in. Sure enough, Nora sees him and then agrees to work with him, but it soon becomes evident that she has more than a business interest in him. Nonetheless, he begins a relationship with her, and his career is suddenly really starting to take off. Soon enough, Bobby is feeling as though he's prostituting himself and eventually gets up the courage to tell Nora he wishes to keep their relationship on a business level. This does not sit well with Nora, who not only stops representing him, but in their final argument, takes away Bobby's self respect and his shoes!
After Tony's cab's brakes fail, the cabbies are all furious at the company's frugality when it comes to fixing/replacing cabs. Elaine is elected shop steward, and after an unsuccessful meeting with Mr. Mackenzie, the big boss, the cabbies go on strike. Louie is initially not conerned about the actions of the union, because he's altered the bookkeeping to show that the company spends adequate money on the upkeep of the taxis, but after Alex scares him with talk of God's vengeance, Louie softens. Louie calls in Elaine and agrees to her demands with the caveat that she go on a date with him (continued in the next episode).
In the second half of this two-part episode, the cabbies are back on the road after the strike has been settled. Meanwhile, Elaine is dreading the date with Louie and is drunk, sedated, and dressed as dowdy as possible, in the hopes of getting it over with quickly and painlessly. Louie takes her to a Polynesian restaurant/bar and they drink heavily and dance, in hilarious fashion, although Elaine is seemingly not enjoying any of it. At the door of her apartment though, Louie cons her into saying that she didn't have such a terrible time. He then convinces her to give him a little kiss goodnight, but when she attempts to give him a small peck, Louie, being true to form, gives her a rather aggressive open-mouthed kiss, that has them rolling on the floor as she fights him off.
Alex has a new lust for adventure after a thrilling ski trip and begins trying to conquer his fears. He first entertains the crowd at Mario's by playing/singing showtunes on the piano, then he has Tony teach him to box and spars with a talented young boxer who knocks him out. Alex still wants a new challenge, however, and announces he's going skydiving. Once in the air, Alex reconsiders, however, but reluctantly jumps anyway.
The cabbies are faring poorly at various gambling schemes, but Elaine alerts the gang about a moneymaking tip for an art auction. It seems a terminally ill artist's painting is up for auction, and when an artist dies, the value of his paintings goes up considerably. She estimates that they need to pool $2,000 to win the auction and the gang, including Louie, barely scrapes up enough. At the auction, Louie attempts various dirty tricks to ensure a successful bid, but the bidding quickly goes above $2,000 and another bidder snares the painting. It is then announced that the artist has passed away, which rubs salt in the wounds of the already dejected cabbies.
After Herve Villachaize (Tattoo from Fantasy Island) leaves a package in Tony's cab, the gang discusses their various fantasies while waiting for him to pick it up. Tony's fantasy is wowing Eric Sevareid (who happens to be a passenger in his cab) with his political insight. Latka's fantasy is to be the taxi dispatcher and turn the tables on Louie. Bobby fantasizes about being a famous singer and conning a homeless Louie out of his last dollar. Jim fantasizes about being visited by aliens. (Part 1 of 2)
In this continuation of the previous episode, the gang continues to fantasize. Alex fantasizes about picking up a beautiful woman in his cab and taking her back to his place. He's having trouble concentrating, however, and strikes out when he learns the woman is his niece. Louie fantasizes that he is the rich owner of the garage during the depression and is married to Elaine. Elaine fantasizes that the whole gang sings "Lullaby of Broadway" in the garage, with a Broadway-style arrangement.
Louie and Zena are running into trouble in their relationship, and Zena dumps him after confessing that she's been dating Dwight, a bartender at Mario's. A depressed Louie tells Alex about it over drinks at Mario's, and when they suspect that Dwight is working the bar, Alex goes up to talk to him. Dwight then tells him that he's breaking up with Zena for getting serious too quickly. Alex shares the news with Louie, who sees an opportunity to get Zena back on the rebound. Zena initially rejects him, but after Louie gives a heartfelt speech about what Zena means to him, she takes him back, despite her better intentions.
Tony's sister, Monica, has returned to New York after her divorce, and Tony has set her up on a date with Alex, with hopes that they will fall in love. However, while Monica waits for Alex in the garage, she gets to talking to Jim and they hit it off famously. They begin dating, but Tony is not supportive of the relationship and asks Jim not to see her anymore. However, Tony catches Jim at Monica's apartment when he stops by for a visit. Tony is angered that they are seeing each other despite his objections and is ready to toss Jim out (literally), when Monica tells him off about his immaturity and trying to control her life. Tony then sees the light, apologizes, and seems resigned to the new relationship.
Alex learns through a wedding notice in the newspaper that his daughter is getting married in New York. Alex is very upset that he hasn't been invited and calls his ex-wife, whose secretary explains that he was specifically not invited. Alex crashes the reception anyway, bringing Elaine with him. Cathy, his daughter, is thrilled to see him and asks why he didn't respond to her invitation. Alex gets angry again and tells off his ex-wife, insulting her weight in the process. Alex eventually feels guilty that he insulted his ex-wife and he pulls her aside and apologizes. They then start to reminisce and soon find that they are still somewhat attracted to each other. When they are about to kiss, Cathy finds them and lets them know how happy she is to see them together and asks them to hug. They do, and everyone is on good terms at the end.
At Mario's, while Elaine is complaining about problems with her love life, a handsome man named Kirk approaches. Tony then plays matchmaker for Elaine and soon she and Kirk are dating happily. Kirk later tells Tony in private that he has a problem: he is interested romantically in someone else-- Tony! Tony, who is not gay but does not want to see Elaine hurt over this, tells Alex and although he doesn't really want to get involved, Alex agrees to meet Tony and Kirk at a gay bar to help smooth over the situation. Alex arrives at the bar before Tony and is nervous, but relaxes after Kirk tells him he knows Tony isn't interested and he's already gently broken things off with Elaine. Alex begins to feel more at ease, but soon he is asked to dance by a large man. Alex is then pulled on to the dance floor and is eventually chased on to the bar itself by a chorus of gay dancers and unable to escape, begins dancing on the bar, when Tony arrives..
Jim is sought out by a detective, hired by his wealthy father to locate him and give him plane tickets to come visit him in Boston. Jim explains to the gang that he has been estranged from his family after dropping out of Harvard in the 1960's and changed his name from Caldwell to Ignatowski. Jim agrees to go to visit his father and brings Alex with him, who is curious about what Jim's family must be like. At his father's mansion, Jim's oddness upsets his father and they get into an argument during dinner. Jim is asked to leave, but Alex speaks to Jim's father privately to try to smooth things over. It turns out Jim's father still thinks of Jim as his favorite child, but it hurts him to see him wasting his life when he had so much potential. Jim comes in and convinces his father that he's got a happy life and doesn't need his father's money and they share a moment before Jim leaves.
Bobby is fed up after losing an acting gig to an inferior actor with the right look, which he explains to be like Tony. Tony decides he wants to capitalize on this and give acting a try, and asks Bobby to be his manager. Reluctantly, Bobby agrees and soon, despite a terrible audition, Tony gets a major role in a movie. Bobby is soon regretting his decision to take Tony under his wing, though, since he's resentful that Tony (whose acting is not improving, despite Bobby's coaching) could get a part so easily. Bobby feels vindicated, however, when Tony is eventually cut from the film because of his lack of skills.
After witnessing Bobby playing a lumberjack in a beer commercial, the guys are inspired to go camping and rough it in the woods for a week. They opt for a hunting cabin 100 miles away from civilization in the middle of winter, and their guide is justifiably concerned they won't make it, but they reassure him that they're fine and to come back for them in a week. They soon regret their decision when they learn that there is no electricity in the cabin. To keep their food from spoiling, they put their groceries outside in the cold, but animals eat them during the night. Somehow they make it through a week, starving, unshaven, and barely coherent, but due to a snowstorm, their guide doesn't come back for them. They decide that they'll need to hunt for food to survive any longer, but the guys can't bring themselves to shoot anything. Finally when a wild turkey walks into their cabin, Alex rises to the occasion and shoots it. Jim says a prayer over the turkey dinner, which consoles Alex, up
When Latka's grandmother dies, he is pleased that she has left him her famous cookie recipe, complete with a supply of the secret ingredients. He bakes up some for the cabbies to enjoy, but the cabbies don't enjoy them. Nonetheless, Latka begins his own cookie business. In the days to come, the cabbies find that they are indeed starting to inexplicably like the cookies, and are also unusually happy and energetic. When Jim samples one, he determines that the secret ingredient is cocaine—which accounts for why everyone's behavior. Upon learning this, Alex visits Latka (busy baking cookies to fill supermarket orders) to tell him the bad news. Latka is noticeably high from the cookies, and hallucinates that Famous Amos tells him to do whatever it takes to be successful. Although Latka can no longer sell the drugged cookies, he is excited at the taste of capitalism because it means he's now a true American.
At the garage, the cabbies overhear a screaming match between the company's owner, Mr. McKenzie, and his wife. Meanwhile, Louie tells them that whenever McKenzie and his wife are fighting, she chooses a handsome young cab driver to have a fling with, then confesses to her husband, and the cabbie is then never heard from again. Louie continues that even if the cabbie turns her down, she still will make up a story about him to tell her husband. The cabbies don't buy it until Alex comes in, overhears Mrs. McKenzie about to come downstairs, and hides in his locker. Louie approaches Mrs. McKenzie, surveying the cab drivers in the garage, with vigor, hoping to pimp Tony or Bobby, but she decides on Louie (her explanation is that since her husband would be upset by her fooling around with a good looking man, being with Louie would kill him). Louie breaks into Alex's apartment while he's sleeping and begs him for advice and all Alex can come up with is that he confront her and try to talk to her.
Bobby finds a fancy briefcase in the back of his cab, and when the cabbies are going through it, with the intention of returning it to its rightful owner, they find an appointment book that shows appointments with various celebrities. They also find an invitation to a cocktail party on a yacht. Thinking that this is their chance to meet celebrities, they dress up and crash the cocktail party, and are soon star struck with costumed people they think are stars. They eventually realize that it's a party for realtors (who evidently have famous clients) and they leave, disappointed.
In her cab, Elaine picks up a woman who turns out to be her old high-school rival, Mary. Elaine is embarrassed that she is a cab driver, especially since Mary heads a prestigious ad agency, so to save face, Elaine makes up a story about having a wonderful boyfriend who is a Columbia University professor. Over the next few days, Mary calls Elaine to try to arrange a dinner with their respective boyfriend's, but Elaine keeps making excuses, as she is ashamed that she made up a lie about having a boyfriend. When Elaine is about ready to confess her lie to Mary over the phone, Alex grabs the phone, pretending to be Elaine's boyfriend, and accepts her dinner invitation for that evening. At dinner, Alex is so charming, in an effort to make their relationship look very loving, that all of a sudden, Mary and her boyfriend become jealous that they don't have such an exciting relationship. Meanwhile, even Elaine is swept up in the moment, and is taken by Alex's romantic acting job. Having d
After Tony is beaten badly in his most recent boxing match, the state takes his boxing license away. Tony is depressed, because despite his losing record, he fancies himself a boxer by trade, and will be giving up on his dream. Soon, Tony's manager comes to the garage and tells Alex that Tony has bought the license of a retired boxer named Kid Rodriguez ("the pride of San Juan") and plans to fight under that name. What's more he has a fight that very evening. The gang shows up in Tony's locker room before the fight and try to talk him out of the illegal activity of fighting under an assumed name, not to mention endangering his life after the boxing commission had mercifully stripped Tony of his license. Tony goes through with the fight nonetheless, but at the opening bell, Alex gives him some food for thought—that Tony could easily be badly hurt or hurt someone else. Tony tries to explain the referee that he doesn't want to fight after all, but inadvertently hits his opponent and knoc
Jim picks up two men in his cab and overhear them talking about the secret to success: dynamic perfectionism. Jim takes it to heart and decides to use the technique to reach his goal, which he won't reveal to the cabbies. Soon, Jim becomes the perfect cab driver, setting company records on every shift. After a few weeks, Jim gives up, announcing that he's reached his goal and can no longer stand to work so hard. He invites the gang over to his apartment to reveal what he's been working so hard for. Upon arrival, they see that his goal was a room full of televisions, with satellites, cable, VCRs, and video games - his ticket to the global village. The gang is unimpressed at first, until each of them gets sucked into watching exciting things on the various televisions.
Louie is reveling in the news that he's moved his mother out of his apartment and into a nursing home and is throwing a party to celebrate, inviting only Alex. Alex grudgingly shows and learns that the party is a sad affair, the only other guests being three losers that soon leave to go to another party. Louie confesses to Alex that he's actually depressed-- his mom actually moved out after they had a fight and he misses her. Louie's depression gets worse over the days to come and Alex convinces him to go make up with his mother. Louie goes to see his elderly mother, who initially won't speak to him, but eventually agrees to come home with him and all is well again.
Elaine is forced out of her apartment when her building goes co-op and moves into Bobby's place while he's away with a touring stage production. Soon, Bobby returns because he is kicked off the tour for fooling around with the director's daughter, and suddenly, he and Elaine are living together. A few days later, Elaine tells Alex how much she's enjoying living with Bobby, when suddenly she gets a call from her boyfriend, who breaks up with her. Elaine leaves upset, and Alex briefs Bobby to look out because Elaine is vulnerable and may want physical companionship. That night, Elaine wakes up Bobby to talk and drink some wine with her, then Bobby panics that she is coming on to him, and calls Alex. When Alex arrives in his robe and slippers, having run 25 blocks through the snow to get there, Elaine gets upset that they have misinterpreted her actions. The guys are ashamed at their chauvinism and they all make up.
Louie, driving a cab in order to give pointers to a new driver, accidentally runs into an old lady pedestrian. Louie starts catering to the old lady, in the hopes of avoiding being sued, but soon learns she is still going to sue him for a million dollars. Alex notices that the old lady looks familiar, and recognizes her as a con artist, who pulls scams like this on cab drivers all the time (faking injuries in order to sue them). Alex makes a deal with Louie to find some of her previous victims to testify against her, if Louie agrees to treat Alex with more respect. It turns out, however, that this time, the woman really has broken her leg this time, and is indeed confined to a wheelchair legitimately (she tells this to her lawyer without any of the gang around). At the trial, Alex shows up alone because he couldn't get anyone to testify in Louie's behalf, so Louie gets a bright idea. In an attempt to prove that the woman is faking an injury, in front of the court, Louie pushes he
Bobby, who is appearing in a one man play, is fired up about a ruthless theater critic who has been writing scathing reviews. Bobby writes an angry letter to the critic, but throws it away without sending it, having already felt better for venting his anger. Predictably, Louie fishes it out of the trash and mails it, and it gets printed in the newspaper. Bobby is soon getting cheers from actors all over the city, but gets worried when he learns that the critic himself is going to be at Bobby's play. After the play, the critic finds Bobby and hands him a wonderful review of his performance. Bobby is overcome until the critic says he's not going to print it, because rather than a scathing review which would seem like sour grapes or a good review that would boost his career, not submitting a review will leave Bobby in obscurity and the critic will have his vengeance.
The cab company goes bust, and the gang is forced to get other jobs. They meet at Mario's a month later to discuss their new jobs. Tony is a collector for a bookie, but feels guilty about this line of work, especially when he needs to collect on a priest. Elaine is an executive assistant, but after she convinces her spineless boss to speak his opinions at a board meeting, they both get fired. Jim takes a job as a door to door salesman, but forgets that he is selling encyclopedias rather than rug shampooers and ruins a woman's carpet in the process. (Part one of a two part episode)
In part two, the gang continues talking about their new job experiences. Louie gets a job as a stock broker, after convincing the boss that his persistence and lack of morals will make him successful. While this proves to be true, he is fired nonetheless, because his colleagues can't stand him. Bobby takes a job as a bunny for children's party, but when he discovers that a kid's mother is a famous director, he acts out a monologue from "Whose Life is it, Anyway," to the disappointment of the children. Alex gets a job as a night watchman, which is dull until he aims the surveillance camera at himself and pretends to be on "the Alex Reiger Show." At the end, Louie learns that the cab company is back in business, and everyone returns to their old jobs.
After Latka is rejected by a snobbish, but beautiful woman at Mario's, he decides to change his image by taking some time off and studying Playboy magazines and English language tapes. When Latka reemerges from his sabbatical, he has lost his accent and now is a lounge lizard who goes by the name, Vic Ferrarri. He soon easily picks up on the woman who had rebuffed him earlier. Although amused, the cabbies become concerned about the changes Latka has gone through, since he has now lost all of his nice qualities and is constantly hitting on Elaine. Alex tells Latka/Vic off, and later Latka appears at Alex's apartment, saying that he's sorry and doesn't want to be Vic anymore. Alex works with Latka and manages to get the old Latka back, although there is a twinge in Latka's eye that suggests Vic isn't gone forever..
Jim announces he has psychic dreams and unfortunately, he has had one about Alex, culminating in his death. The gang becomes increasingly worried about Alex, when one by one, all of the events Jim dreamed about start coming true. However, Alex continues to reject Jim's superstitions. Louie becomes so worried about Alex, he comes to Alex's apartment to take him somewhere (so the final part of Jim's dream doesn't come true, since he is to meet his doom that evening at home), but possibly to spite Louie, Alex decides to stay and tempt fate. In the end, it turns out that the doom Jim dreamed about was a girl scout knocking at Alex's door, instead of his death, but when Louie leaves, Alex actually appears very relieved that Jim's premonition was wrong.
Alex and Elaine decide to take a vacation together through Europe. However, Alex feels it necessary to tell Elaine in no uncertain terms that they are going together as platonic friends, so there's no resentment if he meets and wants to spend time with any other ladies on vacation. Elaine agrees to this and they decide to do things mostly separately during the days, but to meet up once a day to write post cards together. During the trip, it turns out that Elaine is getting all the action, while Alex is lonely and unhappy. The last night, however, Elaine takes pity on Alex (more or less) and propositions him, suggesting that their friendship is strong enough to endure one night of "love." They then go off together...
Latka begins exhibiting multiple personalities again: not only Vic Ferrari, but also a cowboy, and best of all, he becomes Alex! Elaine refers Latka to her psychiatrist, but meanwhile Latka is becoming even more "Alex"-like than Alex himself: he is a better cab driver and gives better advice to the gang. Alex decides he'd better sit in on a psychiatric session with Latka and Latka/Alex is about to reveal the answer to all of Alex's problems (somehow he has figured out the secret to Alex in the midst of subconsciously becoming him), when he becomes Latka again. This leaves Alex extremely frustrated and after Latka leaves, Alex sticks around to talk to the psychiatrist further.
While driving a television executive in his cab, Jim exhibits more psychic behavior by predicting TV ratings. Mitch, the executive, seeks Jim out the next day in hopes of getting more advice about TV programming that might save his job. Jim starts helping Mitch regularly and Mitch becomes a star at the network, but the gang soon convinces Jim (who isn't being compensated for this help) that he's being taken advantage of. Jim angrily confronts Mitch, who agrees to tell the network head honchos all about Jim and to get him a job, but Jim has a change of heart, saying he doesn't want to profit from his God-given gift as a psychic.
Zena asks Louie to drive her friend Emily, who has just been dumped and is drugged, drunk, and upset, back to her apartment. While there, Emily comes on to Louie and he ends up cheating on Zena. Louie soon brags of his conquest, but Elaine gets so angry that she is about to tell Zena everything. Louie decides to tell Zena himself though, who understandably dumps him. Louie then shows up at Emily's apartment, but Emily is clearly regretting her indiscretion with Louie and is getting back with her boyfriend anyway, so she kicks him out quickly. Louie, back at the garage, is in tears because he is so upset at the turn of events. Alex, feeling sorry for Louie, gives him some sage advice on how to get Zena back. All of a sudden, Louie turns off the tears and Alex sees that he's been had and gets furious with himself. As Louie goes to talk to Zena (and presumably gets back together with her), he assures Alex that the tears were real.
Alex's estranged father contacts Alex and reluctantly, Alex agrees to have lunch with him. At first, Alex lays into his father about having deserted his family, but eventually they start having a nice conversation. Alex's father, a real ladies' man, even sets him up with an attractive woman sitting at the table next to them at Mario's. When Alex leaves Mario's, Alex's father makes a date with the woman as well. Evidently, both men continue dating the woman, but when Alex learns that his father has double crossed him, he becomes furious and confronts his father. Ultimately, Alex's father lays on the charm enough with Alex that Alex forgives him and they are seen having dinner together.
Louie becomes irrationally upset when he learns that his mother plans to marry an elderly Japanese man. Louie makes his mother miserable in an effort to thwart the wedding, but she still goes through with the wedding (a traditional Japanese ceremony), and Louie refuses to attend. At the last minute, Alex talks Louie into going, however, and Louie proclaims that whatever despicable act he might perform at the wedding would be Alex's fault for convincing him to go. When Louie is very close to wrecking the wedding, he has a change of heart and gives the couple his blessing.
Elaine makes it her mission to try to cure a talented and friendly but troubled artist of his severe agoraphobia (fear of public places). Alex (possibly jealous of Elaine spending time with another man) advises Elaine to leave the treatment to a professional, but she ignores his advice and eventually brings the artist to the garage. Predictably, the artist is scared to leave the cab but while Alex and Elaine bicker about her methods, the artist walks out of the cab and appears to be making progress.
Tony becomes the manager of a promising young heavyweight boxer at his gym, but after the boxer wins a major fight, the "syndicate" (which turns out to be some doctors looking for an investment, rather than the mob) makes Tony an offer he can't refuse and takes over the boxer's management.
When Louie spies on Elaine changing in the garage bathroom, she enlists a NOW representative's help and gets Louie fired. Louie appeals to Elaine at her apartment one evening though and begs her forgiveness (and her help getting his job back). After Louie exhibits actual remorse and demonstrates through a touching story that he knows how it feels to be violated, Elaine accepts his apology (and presumably gets him rehired at the garage).
Louie becomes scared of nuclear war after hearing someone talk on Donahue, and he sets up a bomb shelter in the garage. He schedules a weekend drill with Jeff and Tony in tow, but finds he's too "soft" to survive if war really broke out, since he is unwilling to throw Jim (who has stowed away in a radiation suit) out of the shelter.
Bobby, who has moved to Hollywood, comes back to the garage for a visit and announces that he's filmed a pilot for a new prime-time soap opera. During his visit, he learns that the pilot has been picked up as a series and Bobby throws a party at the Plaza Hotel to celebrate. He soon learns that although the series is a go, they no longer want Bobby to appear in it. Bobby is upset and entertains the idea of moving back to New York, until Alex convinces him to follow his dream in Hollywood.
Alex is strangely rejecting the advances of a cute, bubbly, young African American cab driver named Nina. Alex is growing more and more annoyed until he decides to invite Nina over to his apartment to talk to her and try to explain why she shouldn't be so interested in him. Although he succeeds with a fatherly talk where he comes off very dull, they kiss goodnight. After the kiss, Nina is convinced there's no spark between them after all, while Alex seems to change his tune also, but it's too late.
Tony takes a second job working as a chauffer for a wealthy but friendly woman named Christina. The two of them hit it off while he's driving her around, and Tony develops a crush on her. By the time Tony finally gets up the nerve to ask her out, it's too late-- she has just become engaged.
Latka is eagerly anticipating a reunion with his ex-girlfriend from the old country, Simka. She arrives at the garage and while Latka is in the bathroom, Alex warns her of Latka's multiple personalities. Sure enough, at Latka's apartment later, Vic Ferrarri makes his appearance and seduces Simka. Much to Latka's dismay, soon his alter-ego, Vic, and Simka seem to be an item. Alex encourages Latka to fight Vic for Simka, which he does in hilarious fashion and Vic never returns.
Jim befriends a runaway child, who has stowed away in Tony's cab, and soon has "adopted" him. When the gang gets wind of this, they find the kid's parents and reunite them.
Alex runs into his ex-wife, Phyllis, eating alone at a restaurant, and when she tries to reach out to him, he gently tells her he's not interested. Nonetheless, Phyllis shows the next day at the garage to find Alex, but he's out driving. Louie manages to arrange a date with Phyllis, who is particularly vulnerable, having just gone through a divorce. When Alex learns of this (after Louie tries to rub it in), Alex becomes concerned about the depths that Phyllis has sunk to and goes to her hotel to talk. Too late- Louie has already arrived and has already tried to seduce Phyllis, much to her disgust. Alex then takes Phyllis out to dinner, leaving Louie naked in Phyllis' hotel room.
Elaine spends over $200 to go to a trendy hairstylist before a special date, but the result is outrageously bad. When she expresses some disappointment, the hairstylist insults her and she leaves, crying, but still pays. Alex talks her into going back and standing up for herself, so she can get her hair fixed and her money back. That doesn't go too well, but in the end, Louie, who has followed Alex and Elaine to the hairstylist, exacts revenge on the guy by pouring a bucket of red hair dye on him.
Tony begins working out with a new cabbie, Lucius, who is a former football player. Tony is in great shape all of a sudden and Lucius inspires Tony to try to get his boxing license reinstated. Tony is not hopeful that the boxing commission will reinstate him, so he is surprised when he gets his license back. In addition, he getes a major fight scheduled with a promising young fighter. Meanwhile, Lucius goes away to Miami to try out for the Dolphins. Without Lucius around, Tony loses his motivation and his training suffers. At the fight, he is getting pummelled until Lucius, who has learned that he has made the Dolphins, arrives to inspire him. With Lucius' support, Tony turns the fight around and knocks out his opponent.
Jim invites Elaine to a concert, and while there, they run into an important patron at Elaine's art gallery. The woman invites them both to a party, although Elaine is very worried that Jim will embarrass her in an event that's important to her career. Still, she doesn't quite have it in her to ask Jim not to go. At the party, Elaine's worst fears are realized with Jim's behavior, until he surprisingly wows the crowd on the piano and turns things around.
Latka, who Joyce Brothers has declared is cured of his multiple personality disorder, asks Simka to marry him. They then must endure a bizarre series of tests, as is the marital tradition for members of their religion. In hilarious fashion, things get ugly at the ceremony itself, and Simka denounces her religion, when her minister reveals that she has just passed the last test and they are now married.
After Jim's home is destroyed by a wrecking ball, he stays with Louie, much to Louie's dismay after Jim declares him his "best buddy." Jim soon burns Louie's apartment after a cooking accident, though. Initially, Louie is angry, but sees an opportunity to make some money, when he learns that Jim gets a blank check from his wealthy father to reimburse Louie for his losses. Louie is not sure how much to ask for, though, since Jim says he has to call his father to okay the amount. After much lamenting over the amount, Louie settles on about $30,000 and Jim's dad okays it. Louie is overjoyed until he learns that Jim's dad was expecting the amount to be more like $200,000.
When Elaine is offered a job as an art gallery manager in Seattle, she asks the gang for help in making a decision. The cabbies share with Elaine some stories about life changing decisions they once had to make. Tony talks about how he refused to take a dive in a major fight, even though he will likely be in trouble with the mob. In the fight, Tony learns that the other fighter has also been paid to take a dive, and the fighter does so in comic fashion. Next, Louie talks about how he became a taxi dispatcher after mercifully taking over for the kindly old dispatcher who had to take his wife to the doctor. Louie finds he likes the job and forces the old man out of the dispatcher's job into retirement. Finally, Jim tells of how he was very studious at Harvard, until his free-spirit girlfriend turned him on to hash brownies. (Part one of two)
(Part two) In a continuation of the previous episode, the cabbies share past experiences with Elaine. Latka discusses his decision to leave his mother and move to America. Alex talks about an opportunity for a major promotion at a desk job he had, but would not compromise his principles to take it. Meanwhile, the man who offered Elaine a job comes to the garage to get a decision from her, but he withdraws his offer when he sees how wishy washy Elaine is being about it.
Newlyweds Latka & Samka throw a Shloogel, one of their religion's traditions. The shloogel is, in effect, a party at Mario's where they set all the gang up on blind dates. Tony is set up with Vicki, an abrasive brunette and immediately starts arguing with her. Elaine is set up with mousy Arnie, who has low self esteem. Jim is set up with actress, Marcia Wallace, who played Carol on his favorite show, Bob Newhart. Louie is set up with Judy, a pretty blind woman. Alex is set up with Susan, who seems to be his dream woman and he seems to be falling for her immediately. Despite the fact that none of the other matches seem perfect, all of them show promise by the end of the evening.
When Jim's father passes away and leaves him a substantial inheritance, Jim's siblings sue to have Jim declared incompetent and his inheritance placed in an account that the brother will have control of. In court, Louie and Alex speak in Jim's behalf, but to no avail. Jim later feels better when he plays a tape of "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" that his father left for him.
In this episode, we learn that Alex can be a compulsive gambler. Alex even scares Louie off with his compulsion, but Jim talks some sense into Alex at the end (after having bankrolled him initially).
Latka is sent to rescue a female cabbie who is stranded in a snowstorm, but he breaks down as he reaches her. The two are freezing in her cab and decide to make love in order to avoid freezing to death. They survive and are rescued but Latka feels tremendous guilt and Simka realizes he's been unfaithful (despite the circumstances) before he can even tell her. Latka and Simka seek the guidance of their minister, who says to set things right, Simka must sleep with someone Latka works with. (Continued in part two)
Latka and Simka throw a party and decide the last to arrive will be the one that Simka must sleep with. Alex barely edges out Louie, in hilarious fashion. Simka goes to Alex's apartment to seduce him, but he refuses her advances. It seems Simka and Latka will have to divorce, but Jim points out that they can just marry again after divorcing.
Louie lets Jeff, his assistant dispatcher, take the rap for skimming money from the company (that Louie is actually responsible for), assuring Jeff that he'll smooth everything over. Louie overdoes it when he reprimands Jeff in front of the garage owner, though, and the owner not only fires Jeff but has him arrested. Louie eventually tells the owner the truth before Alex has a chance to turn him in, but the owner thinks that Louie is only doing it to protect Jeff. The owner decides as a favor to Louie to drop the charges against Jeff and hire him back, so Louie's crime ends up going unpunished despite his good intentions.
Alex, who loves the theater, takes a part time job as a gofer for a young producer and director, but soon feels mistreated by his younger bosses. Louie, spying on Alex at his new job, spots Alex being humiliated and uncharacteristically does not make fun of him; rather, he tries to convince Alex to stand up for himself and tell the director off. Alex is considering this when the director suddenly has a change of heart and apologizes for mistreating Alex and ignoring one of his earlier suggestions. As a result, Alex regains his dignity.
Louie gets a call from Emily, who jilted him in an earlier episode, who is drunk and drugged and wants to meet him at a nearby bar. Louie decides to go over there to throw a drink in her face and reject her, therefore getting the last laugh. However, when he gets to the bar, Emily serenades him and has Louie eating out of her hands. The next morning, she is shocked to see him wake up next to her, but Louie somehow convinces her that they are meant for each other. They begin a relationship but it becomes evident that Louie has become Emily's slave and he's starting to hate himself for it. Eventually she comes to a realization of what she's doing to him and breaks it off with Louie, who is relieved, but he finally exacts revenge by throwing orange juice in her face.
Tony's dad, a merchant seaman who Tony hasn't seen much of, arranges to bring Tony on a sea trip with him. Tony is hesitant but doesn't want to disappoint his dad, so he goes along. On the trip, Tony spends much of the time seasick, but bonds with his dad and they engage in a bar brawl in Singapore, and almost get matching tattoos until they think better of it.
Latka and Simka introduce Elaine to a friend of theirs visiting from their country named Zifka. Zifka is a monk who has taken a vow of silence but during his vacation is allowed a week (every ten years) to experience all worldly pleasures. He and Elaine quickly fall in love (seemingly to Alex's dismay) but Zifka must resume his silence when his week ends right before he can tell Elaine exactly how he feels about her. Elaine is saddened but understanding, and lets Zifka go.
Zena comes to the garage and announces she's getting married and asks the gang to let Louie know that she wants to speak with him. After telling Louie, he becomes convinced that she wants to get back together, and he meets her for dinner. Louie is crushed when she tells him she's getting married and wants him to attend, and he reacts very insultingly toward her. The rest of the gang goes to the wedding when Louie refuses, but afterwards he regrets not going and wishing her well, so he crashes his way on to their cruise ship (about to leave on their honeymoon). Zena and her husband are not happy to see Louie and before he can wish them well, Louie has a change of heart and starts choking the husband. After composing himself, however, he wishes them well, and Zena seems touched.
Alex's ex-wife, Phyllis, depressed and lonely, comes to see Alex, who takes pity on her and includes her in his holiday plans. This turns ugly, when she manages to bring the whole gang down with her self-pity. Her Christmas present to Alex is that she won't bug him for New Year's, which turns out to be the best gift she could give him.
Louie decides to buy a luxury co-op apartment with some help on the down payment from the newly wealthy Jim. Unfortunately, Louie first has to convince a snooty co-op board that he is right for their building (as he comes in, they are rejecting actress Penny Marshall because they don't approve of the actress lifestyle). Bringing Alex for support, Louie has his work cut out for him when he sees that the board is bigoted. Alex goes on a tirade against their discriminatory process, and the board accepts Louie just to spite Alex.
Alex takes ownership of his old dog, Buddy, who has been living at his sister's place in the country. Buddy is now 19 and Alex wants to spend as much time with him as possible. The dog is lovable but at his advanced age, requires constant care, and Alex soon is taking Buddy with him everywhere including the cab. The gang soon sees that Buddy is not doing very well and gently suggest that Alex consider putting him to sleep, but Alex refuses. Jim suggests that Alex get Buddy to do his old trick (playing dead) to determine his wellness. Buddy does the trick successfully, although gives the gang a scare when he doesn't get up right away and they really think he may be dead (thankfully, he turns out to be okay). However, the next time the gang sees Alex, he doesn't have Buddy with him, and Alex says that he had to take Buddy to the vet where he died. Louie ushers everyone out of the garage so Alex can grieve alone. With everyone gone, the stoic Alex cries as the episode ends.
When Elaine's son, Jason, watched Tony coaching youth boxing, he wants to get involved. Alex and Tony talk Elaine into letting Jason box, despite her better judgement. In Jason's first bout, he gets knocked out by the first punch and Elaine holds Alex responsible. Fortunately, Elaine forgives Alex eventually and Jason doesn't want to box again.
Part one of a two part clip show featuring highlights of Taxi.
Part two of a two part clip show featuring highlights of Taxi.
Diane, an old friend of Jim's comes to the garage looking for Jim, and Alex takes a liking to her. Alex makes some less than flattering remarks about Jim, not realizing that she and Jim have begun a romantic relationship. When Jim confronts Alex about the things he said, Alex justifies his comments with examples of crazy things that Jim has done. Jim is touched that Alex remembered all those things about him and all is well.
Louie plans to his girlfriend, Judy (a blind woman introduced to him earlier this season by Latka & Simka), but before he can do it, Judy tells him that she's having an operation to get her sight back. Louie then gets cold feet, worried that she'll reject him because of his looks. Alex talks Louie through his insecurities and Louie goes to the hospital to support Judy after her surgery. It turns out the surgery is a success and she still loves Louie after seeing him. Louie is thrilled and decides to buy her a real diamond before he proposes (since she can now see and may be able to tell the difference).
Elaine is seriously dating the nerdy Arnie, also introduced in the Shloogel Show episode earlier this season, and decides it's time for him to meet her kids although she isn't sure if that's a great idea. Arnie is also very worried about the meeting and when he meets them, he tries a little too hard to make him their favorite person. In the process, he gives them presents and even money, to Elaine's dismay. In an effort to set things right, Arnie tells the kids that he didn't mean to try to buy their affection and it turns out they still like him. Elaine then realizes that now that the kids like Arnie so much, she's pretty much stuck with him-- but she's pleased about this.
Tony is depressed when he learns his girlfriend, Vicki (also introduced in the "Shloogel Show" episode) is pregnant. He decides to "do the right thing" and marry her, although when he talks to her, he's clearly not too thrilled about it. As a result, she storms off and later refuses to take his calls. This makes Tony's mood even worse, but meanwhile he has scored a crucial boxing match with a ranked contender. Unfortunately, his heart isn't in it and during the match, he initially gets knocked down then he gets up but just seems to be going through the motions. Midway through the bout, his manager somehow inspires him and Tony appears to turn the fight around. As the decision is being announced, Vicki appears and they aggressively talk things out. Just as the bout his been awarded to Tony's opponent on a split decision, Vicki agrees to marry Tony, who throws his hands in victory, despite having lost the fight.
Jim decides to buy Mario's with some of his inheritance money, but first must convince his brother Tom (who controls his trust fund) that this is a wise investment. Initially, Mario's is doing poorly and Tom threatens not to let Jim have any more money, but the gang usher their customers into Mario's and soon the place is packed and everyone is having a great time. All appears well until a man tries to buy liquor from Jim after hours and then reveals himself to be an undercover liquor authority officer. But wait-- Jim has given him a bottle of seltzer, not liquor and saves face with his brother.
Newly wealthy Jim gives each of the gang $1000 to give away, in an effort to teach them how good it feels to give someone else $1000. Latka & Simka give the money to their minister, who protests loudly (as is their custom) but accepts the money nonetheless. Tony uses the money to buy his friend Walt a large TV set. Elaine (inexplicably) gives the money to her daughter, suggesting that she split it with her brother. Louie gives the money to Jeff, who won't accept Louie's "dirty money" until he learns it was from Jim. Alex has trouble finding someone to give the money to until he comes accross an old lady in his cab with seven kids.
Simka is exhibiting strange behavior, and this behavior is quite untimely in that she keeps cancelling appointments with immigration and she's likely to be deported. Eventually, her behavior is diagnosed as PMS and she feels well enough, at least knowing what her problem is, to go through with her immigration appointment. After some difficulty, Latka & Simka convince immigration that theirs is a real marriage and Simka is awarded a green card.
