Lee & Herring explode from two wooden crates and onto BBC2 declaring their intentions to provide things for idle hands to do, after they've finished performing the devil's work, and Rich is overawed at having met Jeremy Paxman off of the telly. Simon Quinlank starts as he means to go on by providing this week's hobby of "Ringing Norris McWhirter At Three In The Morning & Asking Him What The Biggest Leaf In The World Is". He is deranged. Stew tells the audience that he has been labeled obsessive & dysfunctional for keeping all his records & possessions in alphabetical order, he has a detailed list of everyone who's said this about him. The celebrated Lee & Herring "Gnat's Chuff" joke is brought to television, as Richard "confuses the art of simile" once again. Frustrated at his inability to date actual women, and just strings of meaningless gnats, Rich heads off to a dating agency where he is partnered off with Alan Stevens (played by John Thompson) and enjoys a night out quoting Monty Python, playing video games& drinking. Peter Baynham then pops up as "Peter" to share his recipes from his & brother Charlie's cook book "One is Quite Lonely Actually" - based on Delia Smith's "One Is Fun". First up is Frozen Chicken Lollies, for which you'll need some frozen chicken breast - and a fork. He also tells us of his thoughts on easy time travel, and how he has fun with words - imagining the name of removal firm "Renta-Crates" is actually an old Greek philosopher. Pete closes by demonstrating his recipe for mouth trifle. The fruits of your labour are shown now, as Rich & Stew unveil the Gall-Ery - a collection of images brought together by asking listeners to their radio show to send in anything they fancy. This week, the featured pieces of work are Stew's mutilated football stickers, TV Chef Michael Barry, his curmudgeonly face & some food he's prepared, a photo Stew stole off the wall of the Red Lodge Transport Cafe in Norwich of a singing old man, a hilari
Rich & Stew burst out of their crates and into the second episode of their new BBC2 comedy show. Or at least, that's what's supposed to happen. In fact, Rich's box has been confused for a big wooden crate full of crockery. This initial mistake now rectified, Rich joins Stew onstage, and instantly recognizes him as "Stewart Lee, off of the telly!". Stew points out that Rich has seen him in his house every day for the last nine years, and that Rich too is now on the telly, but this doesn't deter his overawed enthusiasm Rich then proudly displays a cutting from the previous week's Radio Times, showing a picture of the two of them, and announces how his mother - a teacher at Blackfield Middle School in Somerset - had held it up to her class to impressed reactions. More Somerset baiting from Stew ensues, as he points out that the children would have been impressed with anything that Rich's mum showed them, because they are - after all - from Somerset. Peter tells us that he's found a new stain, and Rich & Stew reveal that even top TV celebrities need hobbies, going on to tell the viewing public of Bill Oddie's secret love of spying on birds, and his perversions that come hand in hand with it - thus bringing a new meaning to the phrase "bird-fancying". Up next is a brief documentary on the phenomenon of "Urban Man", showing how some men live on the streets in nothing but their pants. Underlining how these creatures may provide a charming reminder of the natural world to city dwellers, but to the country population they are little more than pests. A "blipvert" is screened here offering the urban men's pants to any viewers desperate enough to request them. People actually wrote in. Back to the Studio now, and Stew brings the first of his diatribes against culture thief Patrick Marber to the fore - which probably made little sense at the time to a large percent of the audience - as he recounts a night circling his buff metallic 1973 Hillman Avenger around Londo
This week, the crates don't house Stew & Rich, they hold Stew & the gimp from Pulp Fiction. The gimp escapes & is chased before the mistake is rectified & Rich is with us. They kick off proceedings with a letter of complaint from Mrs J Wentall in regards to last week's Jesus parable and their dealings with religion in general. Mrs Wentall tells Rich & Stew that they display a "woeful ignorance of true christian belief, I wonder if you'd dare to broadcast something in the same vein, but targeting a travesty of the islamic faith. Stew points out that although they may be atheists, they are not stupid and like the use of their hands, and the ability to breathe. They also had letters of complaint about Stew's Somerset-bashing - this inevitably leads to more abuse of Rich's county folk and into a sketch involving "Ian & Jenny" moving into their new home & being greeted in slightly worrying detail by their new neighbours on Ringfield Road. High surveillance ruins their life in one short afternoon as their overbearing neighbours reveal the minute detail of their life & show hidden camera footage of a marriage-wrecking affair. On returning to the Studio, Stew shows the audience his Wixney Junior School photo (which later made it into the Fist Of Fun book) and Rich seems disappointed that his childhood friend Steve Cheek doesn't want to go down to Cheddar Gorge & drink cider with him whenever he rings him up. Reluctantly, Stew agrees to go cider drinking with him after the show, prompting an infantile Wurzels impression from Rich, while Stew points out that sooner or later you will outgrow your friends. This offends Richard, and links into the first "Captain Oates" sketch, Rich then goes on to complain that his flat has become overrun by mice in the preceding week, and points out the dilemma he's in as a result of being a vegetarian (like Morrissey & Hitler) and therefore unable to condone the murder of mice. A "Pied Piper" parody explains what he did t
This week, Rich's crate houses a French Richard Herring tribute comedian - leading to more crate-related confusion. As the error is rectified, Richard welcomes viewers to the show that Somerset's "Weston Daily Press'" TV reviewer Chris Rundell described as "not at all funny". Mr Rundell has stated in his review that "television demands a conscious effort to sit down & concentrate on the images and sounds on the screen." leading Stew to believe that the review was less a critique of their show, more a thesis on the premise of television in general. Whereas Rich is reveling in his newfound fame, Stew apparently is not enjoying it, describing all their audience as obsessive freaks, pointing out one audience member in particular. Rich is hurt. It is his dad. Initially, there is some confusion with an Aardvark-faced man, but it's soon apparent that Rich's dad is in fact, "The amazing pickled man of Somerset". Being a collection of organs in a jar. Moving on to a pre-recorded sketch, we meet Pestilence - the milkman of the apocalypse. Tired of waiting for Armageddon, Pestilence has taken up a milk round, much to the chagrin of the other horsemen. Amongst other things, it makes them look like idiots when they go out together. Famine, Death & War on horseback make Pestilence look oddly out of place on his milkfloat. Returning to the Studio, Stew tells us that this week he's been filling in his organ donor card. He suggests the audience can have a bit of a laugh with their donor cards, by putting the name of someone you hate in the "In the event of my death please contact" field. Stew has chosen the Cornish playwright & puppeteer, Patrick Marber as his contact. In the image pictured right, you can see a blipvert added to warn viewers who may be tempted to copy Stew that "Stewart Lee is a Twat". Click the image to your right for the full caption. Stew points out that Rich is getting a little overweight - Rich defends this accusation using the age old "b
This week's "crate gag" involves Lee & Herring's crates being mistakenly placed in the Grandstand Studio. The error rectified, the duo are returned to the rightful studio and the show begins. When asked what he'd been up to this week, Rich recounts the storyline of the movie "Disclosure", before Stew points out that he's confused his life with the events of a film. A nice link to the storyline from the Harrison Ford film, "Witness", that of the peaceful & gentle religious cult, the amish, who had forsworn the use of all modern 20th century inventions in favour of a simpler life. This leads to a pre-recorded insert that tells of the Shrewsbury-based anti-modern community, "The Conkies", named after Ian Conkie - their founder. They have eschewed any invention that came after the 6th of December 1983. Their pastimes involve playing old Atari video games, and the staples of their diet include toasted sandwiches and Soda Stream drinks. Stew does try his best to point out the lunacy of their community, but they're not listening. They seem to like living their bizarre lie. Returning to the Studio sees more of Peter's lifestyle hints. After showing off his new pants, Peter suggests simulating going to an open-air rock concert by going to the High Road & looking at the drunk old lady who dances around singing "Eye Of The Tiger" outside the Abbey National. You can also join in the fun of the National Lottery for no expense, by getting a form and filling it in as the numbers are called out on the television, and imagining what it would have been like if you'd filled them in an hour previously & won. An alternative is "Lottery Scratch". Scratch yourself six times in different places, and if three or more of the scratches bleed, you win an extra scratch. He closes his segment with a recipe for "Easy Pasta". Simply put some pasta in your mouth until the saliva makes it go soft, and then serve. Hideous. Rich comes over and shows Peter some of the fan-mail he
After pop teenagers Ant & Dec burst from Rich & Stew's crates & are chased off set by BBC workmen, Lee & Herring reclaim their show for the last episode in the series. This means, as Rich takes delight in telling us, that they've been allowed to bring in games. Rich has brought in a "The Sweeney" game and the playing cards that his french exchange partner got him. Stew, on the other hand, has brought in five dolls that represent all the people that have lied to him or about him in the entertainment industry throughout the last five years. And some skewers. Rich is happily sporting a new badge this week, which reads, "I'm proud to come from God's own county of Somerset". It had been sent in by viewer Simon Rudd in protest against Stew's constant ridicule of the county. However, this only serves to provoke yet more scorn from Stew, as he points out that the pen used to create that badge, must have been the same quill pen that the people of Somerset use to tickle the demons out of the mad folk. The next sketch up is pillaged from Rich & Stew's work on Lionel Nimrod's Inexplicable World and features the warring factions of Cubs & Scouts. The goodness of the polite young cubs is countered by the sheer vileness of the Scouts, the chopper riding, fag smoking, woodpecker cider drinking, bumfluff covered scourge of the Cubs. Thus keeping balance in the cosmos. Returning to the Studio, Rich mentions how being on the telly has been great at helping him get back in touch with long-lost friends, and after a brief mention of Mike "Devon" Cosgrave (actually a former "Seven Raymond"), Rich & Stew welcome to the Studio "The Girl Who Smelt Of Spam" from his school. Referring to her throughout the interview as "The Girl Who Smelt Of Spam", it soon becomes apparent that the only reason Rich has got her on the show is to torment her in exactly the same way he did twenty years previously. His childish taunts reduce "The Girl Who Smelt Of Spam" to tears as she tells of her a
They're back! A new theme tune, a new set, and a new joke in episode four. Stew reveals his luddite tendencies, declaring that he doesn't like change, while Rich is embracing it. Rich goes as far as comparing the new series to the regeneration of Colin Baker to Sylvester McCoy in Dr. Who, which as Stew points out, was a brief excitement followed by disappointment, shame & regret. This first show draws heavily on material from the "Love" episode of Lionel Nimrod's Inexplicable World, as it is the week of St. Valentines' Day. St. Valentine, of course, being the patron saint of making sad and lonely single people feel like shit. Stew wishes he was going out with someone because, as he points out, it's quite cold at the moment and it would make a difference. Rich wonders what's going on. He thought Stew was seeing someone. A pre-recorded insert explains everything. It illustrates Stew's deep, and forbidden love for a kitten. Called Simon. Stew been playing with behind the owner's back. An odd sketch by Lee & Herring standards. Surreal, but undeniably silly, which is always a good start. Peter's back for the second series too, sponsored by Maston News, 22 Bedford Hill, Balham, and provides a couple of recipes for meat-based drinks. First up is "Beef Pop" - Some Oxtail Soup with a couple of alka-seltzers dropped in. Alternatively you could try getting some frozen sausage meat, mashing it up with an old boot before putting all the bits in a big glass with some water for "Pork Slush Puppies". If you, like Peter, didn't get any Valentines cards this year (or ever), you can always convert any normal post accordingly. Pete's Stuck an ace of hearts playing card which he found on a cat's hand onto a disconnection notice from British Gas. Or you could always buy a pig's heart from a butchers and take it to a photo booth for a mini valentines postcard. Pete reminds us of Donny Oddlegs' untimely demise and introduces us to his new friend, Alan Milk-Carton-Body which is
Stew & Rich start the show with the terrible news that Michael Jackson is back in town, and, talking of people who've got away with very serious crimes - Rich refers to the documentary that was on in the week about the diaries of Jack the Ripper. Rich is convinced that the diaries are genuine. His basis for that decision? The first fifty pages had been ripped out - he just can't resist ripping things can Jack the Ripper. Stew isn't so sure. Jack the Ripper was a master criminal, after all, he wouldn't leave a diary lying around - and if he had, it would have been a decoy diary. Containing stuff like "Tuesday. I didn't kill anyone today in a bizarre ritual murder, and I wasn't sexually excited by it when I did it, because I didn't even do it. I'm not Jack the Ripper, I wasn't there." American movie producers, Seahand & Zemquitt, are up next telling how they'd recently been offered a script for a film called "Jurassic Park". But they didn't like the format. Get rid of the dinosaurs, replace them with a pack of dogs - and don't set it on an island. No, use a suburban street. And don't call it "Jurassic Park". Call it "Beethoven's Second". And then, then - you have a hit on your hands. Or do you? Getting back to topical stuff, Rich notices that this week has seen "Shrove Tuesday", the annual festival when people prepare for the abstinence of lent by eating all the leftover batter in their houses. Stew is unimpressed. "But it's tradition" pleads Rich. No. It's not a tradition, Pancake Tuesday was invented in 1978 by pancake industry fat cats in an attempt to make gullible people like Rich eat more pancakes. Rich corrects him, informing him that it is actually a religious festival that was invented by Satan in AD 42 when he tempted Jesus in the desert. With a pancake. He then ventures into the audience, dishing pancakes out to anyone who will have them, and some that won't. However, Jarvis Cocker - lead singer of the band Pulp - foils Rich's pancake-based gen
Rich starts things off by telling us that it is, indeed, over for one of the world's most popular couples. Yes, the X-Files has finished. Undermining Stew's initial point about the marriage of Prince Charles & Lady Diana. When corrected, Rich claims that his sympathies fall on the side of Princess Di, because of all her secret work for charity. Work so secret that it was across the front of every newspaper, every day. Rich himself, apparently, does lots of secret work for charity in Diss in East Anglia where he nurses the sore paws of otters. This catches Stew's interest. He too does lots of secret work in Diss. He goes around infecting the paws of otters with salt. Rich is puzzled. If Stew didn't do this, they wouldn't have to keep going to Diss! Hobby loon Simon Quinlank's back. And he is angry. Stewart Leach from Glasgow has written in to the show declaring him "a jumped-up stamp collector". To prove Stewart wrong, Quinlank provides us with this week's hobby. "Train Ignoring". For this week's hobby, you will need a pen, a list of all the rolling stock in Great Britain today, a blindfold - or some eyelids, a flask of weak lemon drink, and a trainspotter. Simon's trainspotter of choice is called Alan. The premise of this hobby involves standing at railway sidings with the trainspotter and waiting. When you hear a train coming, cover your eyes & apply the blindfold. Your trainspotter will tell you which train has just gone past & you can then catalogue it, keeping a record of the trains that you have now ignored. Back in the Studio, Rich is trying to fill the gap left by the X-Files with their own show. After all, what have Scully & Mulder got that Lee & Herring haven't? Well, as Stew points out, they've got acting talent, real good looks, a top selling video, and nine million viewers in a peak time BBC one slot. But then, Stew wants the moon on a stick. The other thing, of course, that Scully & Mulder have over them, is an unconsummated sexual chemistry
This weeks' show has been cloned by Scottish scientists at the Royston Institute to be an exact copy of a 1972 Goodies script, announces Stew, before asking Rich what had caught his satirical eye this week. Rich explains that he'd read about a child in Yorkshire by the name of Maurice Mitchener who went to see Peter Pan and was so scared that his parents are now suing the playhouse that put on the production. Rich proceeds to mock the three year old child, despite Stew's protests. In defence of Maurice Michener's reaction to Peter Pan, Stew considers the possibility that he may have seen through to the core of the story, which is about the fear of growing old. Maurice Mitchener may have had an existential dread about his own mortality - and faced with that, like Hamlet, he just had to despair. This doesn't convince Rich. Peter Dibdin, Rich's driving instructor, is back - giving us an insight into a day in his life. Today is Sunday - a day off, and he's having some friends round. His friends, predictably, are all fellow driving instructors. They spend their day testing each other on the highway code & playing driving instructor style games. Back to the Studio, and we're just in time for the Fist Of Fun illegal lottery draw. Stew has already distributed the 25% of the total money raised to the designated "worthy cause", Pavarotti. He had traveled to the Royal Opera House to give the fat singer a staggering eleven pounds and fourteen and a half pence. He wasn't there, but they said they'd pass it on - and he trusted them. This combined act of generosity and trust prompts Rich to label him as "the new christ". Of course, the real lottery show has celebrity guests on hand to help with the draw. Well, Rich & Stew are no exception and have secured the services of Rod Hull, from Emu's World, as their celebrity guest. Rod is sent, screaming, into the audience to retrieve the winner, Steven Jackson. Steven has won £22.29. Which serves as a bit of a disappoi
Welcome to episode five of "The a and the fist of fun. At ten.". This week, Rich & Stew are breathing a sigh of relief that they didn't get hit by the runaway Chinese satellite. Rich's theory for the Chinese invasion of Taiwan is, of course, that Taiwan make all the toys that go inside Kinder Eggs, and China wants all the toys without having to pay for the eggs. Stew wastes no time, however, in pointing out that Rich has ascribed his own motives for invading Taiwan - confusing them with those of the Chinese governments'. Rich collects Kinder Egg toys, you see, and he puts them all in a big glass cabinet in his house. He keeps the chocolate too. In his tummy. This week, Richard's been to the cinema, where he saw "Seven" which he was impressed by. Not least due to the fact that it made perfect sense on it's own - even though he hadn't seen one, two, three, four, five or six. Stew tries to tell him that the film is not part of a sequence, but Rich isn't listening. He goes on to tell of how much he enjoyed the film that he went looking for more in the series. He couldn't find many - just "10" & "2001", but by the time he's finished counting back from 2001 Rich & Stew are old and grey. They have beards. Peter Dibdin returns once more, charging twenty pounds a lesson & trying to teach all the stupid, none-driving idiots the Peter Dibdin Traffic light sequence song; "Red is the colour of the apple so fine - STOP, red and amber is the sunset in the evening time - GET READY, green is the frog all covered in slime - GO, amber is the sunrise in the morning time - STOP, UNLESS BREAKING WOULD BE MORE DANGEROUS THAN CONTINUING, and that is the order of the traffic lights sign." Of course, no-one can remember this - leading to plenty of Peter Dibdin insults. Returning to the Studio, RIch & Stew are discussing chart music. It's great the The Beatles are back in the charts, according to Rich. Stew, on the other hand, thinks it's great only if you like the idea of a bunc
Rod Hull's here - it is him - and welcome to his all new, Pink Fist Of Fun show. That's right, he's back with his own show! Yeah, you're beautiful! Rich & Stew burst in on him & reclaim their show using the subtle ploy of telling him there is a jelly tasting evening at the Ritz Hotel. The lure of jelly is too strong for Rod & he's off to the Ritz, leaving Lee & Herring to finish the series themselves. Rich wastes no time in telling Stew he's fed up with his insistence on wanting the moon on a stick, So he's got him the moon on a stick. But it isn't the moon on a stick, as Stew points out, it's a big piece of cardboard painted to look like the moon. On a stick. "Oh," says Rich, "So you want the moon on a stick." "Yes" "See" "No, I don't want the moon on a stick, all I'm saying is that if I wanted the moon on a stick - which I don't - I would want the moon on a stick, not this piece of cardboard/paper moon stick thing." "Well what am I going to do with it now?" "I dunno, give it to the poor children or something." Simon Quinlank is up next, with something to do when you've finished doing hobbies for the day. This hobby is called "Seeing how long you can go without doing a hobby." You must empty your mind of all hobbies, and time how long it is before you find yourself doing a hobby. It is only 28 seconds before Simon finds himself inadvertently doing the rubbing of a vicar's arse. Remember, you must not drink your weak lemon drink, as drinking weak lemon drink constitutes taking part in a hobby. Back to the Studio, and Rich is appalled that Stew is smoking on television. What if Maurice Mitchener is watching? But Stew points out that, as intelligent viewers will note, they are taking very different views on the issue of smoking. Stew is pro, while Rich is anti. And this is just one of the many contrived differences they have created in order to become a successful comedy double act. Stew doesn't even like smoking - but he has to do it for the do
Touring on the back of the "Fist Of Fun" radio & TV series, Rich & Stew took to the road, starting off at that year's Edinburgh Festival. This tour featured the gig at The Cochrane Theatre in September 1995 that was filmed & released on BBC video as "Lee & Herring Live".
35 min thing filmed in Rich's garden
Here's a video presentation of one of Rich's Leicester Square Theatre Podcasts. The one with Stewart Lee, where they discuss all matters arising - including that of Fist of Fun.
DVD Extra of Richard Herring & Kevin Eldon as the character 'Rod Hull' recording commentary for the DVD.
DVD Extra of Kevin Eldon as the character 'Simon Quinlank' performing an audio only 'Hobbies' sketch.
DVD Extra of Richard Herring & Kevin Eldon performing an audio version of a sketch cut from the series.
