Toody and Muldoon go through much trouble to go fishing for swordfish on a fellow officer's brother-in-law's cruiser.
The 53rd Precinct decides to buy a surprise gift for Sgt. Abrams for 25 years of service. First they decide to buy an identification bracelet, then a dressing gown (robe), and finally a specially made pair of orthopedic shoes. Problems arise because these shoes cannot be made without Mr. Webster measuring Sol's feet to produce them.
Toody and his wife taken in an ex-con, hoping to rehabilitate him.
Since Toody and Muldoon have been successful partners for nine years, the captain is asked to find out how this could possibly be. Both Toody and Muldoon are questioned so much that they begin to wonder themselves and arguing ensues.
Mrs. Bronson manages to evade eviction from her apartment by charming everyone who tries to give her notice.
With Theresa Tangere's popularily out of control, the Muldoon's keep her temporarily at their home, out of the public eye. Meanwhile, shy Francis is enamored with the blonde bombshell.
The precinct tries to uncover a group of car thieves who specialize in repainting their loot and reselling.
After running into an old school chum who never married, Lucille tries to match her up with Muldoon.
When Toody goes undercover to expose a thieving gypsy, she puts a curse of hives and martial troubles on him in return. Toody then begins to experience these supposed problems, and eventually he, Lucille, and Muldoon seek to counteract the hex to bring life back to normal for all involved.
Disgusted by the conditions of their apartment, Toody gives his landlord Mr. Corfu 30 days notice. Mr. Corfu is absolutely thrilled with this decision and promptly seeks to find another family to move in. Meanwhile Toody and Lucille have trouble finding suitable housing as a replacement, so Toody makes plans to sublet an apartment of Al Cooper who is very possibly going to be spending 3-5 years in prison anyway. In the end, Mr. Cooper gets vindicated, the family that takes over the Toody apartment moves out because of the awful living conditions, the Toodys move back in, and everything is back to normal.
After Toody and Muldoon give Hugh Downs a ticket for speeding, Toody takes the opportunity to introduce Hugh to Officer Fleischer, a comedian, hoping that his buddy will be discovered for his talent.
With Rose's example of an ultra submissive wife, Gunther is frustrated with his wife's strong personality, but once Lucille becomes docile as a result of watching Shakespeare, he decides that he's not so sure he likes having a doormat for a spouse.
As department treasurer, Toody has the bright idea of investing the department's kitty in the stock market, but regrets that decision shortly thereafter.
With bank robber ""No Face"" on the loose, Muldoon and Toody are on the look-out. Through a series of unbelievable events, Muldoon robs the neighborhood bank without realizing it, eventually bestowing the loot onto Schnauser who's recuperating in the hospital.
The 53rd Precinct puts on a special Christmas program for friends and family, featuring mostly songs depicting life at the 53rd Precinct rather than Christmas Carols.
With Toody's TV out of commission and with the urging of his wife, he reads a book entitled ""The Sacrifice"" which inspires him to encourage Muldoon to better himself. However, this backfires, causing Muldoon to doubt his present job capabilities.
Jan Murray, playing himself, is asked to judge a barbershop quartet contest among city employees. The Whipoorwills from the 53rd Precinct practice their introduction "boom, boom, boom" everywhere they go”and everywhere they go, Jan Murray goes, until he is practically out of his mind from hearing "boom, boom, boom."
After the chief inspector finds Toody and Muldoon's sector what he deems less than desirable, he insists that Capt. Block see to it that things change within 24 hours or ELSE.
Toody goes undercover with a female police officer and a boy to catch a purse snatcher, and when Lucille gets wind of this new assignment, she thinks that her husband has another life elsewhere.
When Muldoon discovers that he's grown an inch, one inch above company rules, he goes into a panic.
An artist gives Toody one of his paintings, but Toody doesn't realize its real worth until it's too late.
Every Thursday the Schnausers have a fight, so the next Thursday, Toody and Muldoon decide to convince Leo that it's really Friday, rather than Thursday. In the process, they confuse almost everyone on the police force to wonder what day it really is.
Muldoon gets a new partner, which not only intimidates Toody but causes Muldoon to neglect his duties because he's so involved in intellectual conversations.
Sick of his goody-two-shoes reputation, Muldoon is determined to change what people think of him and become a man about town.
A professional pickpocket steals Toody's wallet and assumes Toody's identity, arresting many other pickpockets before he's finally caught.
When the inspector announces that Capt. Block needs to take a well-deserved vacation, a temporary replacement is sent in.
After attending a large wedding, Sylvia becomes upset that she had been married by a justice of the peace, insisting upon rectifying that situation at all costs.
Leo is in charge of deciding on a gift for the captain's 25th wedding anniversary, and insists upon getting a cheese knife. But when Toody and Muldoon have to deliver paperwork to the captain at his home, they find that their boss collects antiques. He shows them an outlandish chair, and tells them how he wishes that he had the other half of this one and only pair. Shortly thereafter, Toody finds a chair just like it at an auction house which he plans on getting for the Captain at all costs.
Unknowingly, Toody's 11 year old nephew Marvin's casual remarks help Toody and Muldoon solve tough cases, but by the time they realize what's happening, they're not the only ones that want to have Marvin around.
Lucille dies her hair to get Gunther to notice her, and when he finally does, look out.
First episode of the new season. The President is coming to New York to speak at the U.N. and two top-drawer officers are needed to drive him from the airport. The talent hunt produces those two intrepids: Toody and Muldoon.Before Toody and Muldoon are allowed to drive the President, they must be checked out by the Secret Service. The President is Muldoon's hero, so he is extremely nervous about the assignment, but says that he will be all right as long as the President is not mentioned by name. In the car, the Secret Service agent wonders why Muldoon doesn't want to talk about the President; gets suspicious; and with all the talk, Muldoon gets carsick. The agent's superiors don't believe him. Muldoon gets tranquilizers from a doctor but they only cause him to fall asleep at the wheel. Then he gets anti-depressants which cause him to burst out laughing at the wrong times. The program ends with the President seen arriving in New York City (via newsfilm) and with Toody and Muldoon watchi
Muldoon moves in with the Toody's temporarily. Soon both Muldoon and Lucille begin to ""believe"" that they're having an affair with each other.
When Toody and Muldoon become ill at the same time, their doctor becomes intrigued because they have become similar in many respects, much as a pair of oxen after being yoked together over time.
In a flashback, Muldoon explains the trouble Schnauser had 12 years previously when he was forced to give up riding his horse on patrol, converting to a vehicle.
Mitch Miller tries to give the 53rd precinct a chance to sing on his TV show, but Toody has the only bass voice.
Mrs. Bronson moves in to an apartment that is still under construction because of a lease she'd been given awhile back.
Under the mistaken impression that Leo is a count from Russia, a group of crooked spiritualist try to manipulate to benefit financially from the situation.
The 53rd precinct invests money into a big-time play, not realizing that it's actually a play about a corrupt police department.
Undercover as ""Bull"", a notorious bank robber, Toody robs a bank along with the help of a group of robbers who've managed to evade the police. Thinking that Toody is an expert as far as robbing is concerned, they fall for a bogus job which lands them all in the clink.
While bird sitting for Capt. Block's parrot, Toody inadvertently teaches it to say ""I hate Capt. Block.""
While dieting to slim down for a part in a play, Sylvia blindly binges on cookies at the grocery not realizing she's being filmed. When the owner of the cookie company sees the film, he is so impressed with her appetite for his cookies that he wants to use her for his ""Dixie Dimple"" cookie commercials.
Unbeknownst to the police department, seemly impoverished Pretzel Mary is actually a multi-millionaire who stores all of her money inside of her tattered furniture. So when the precinct tries to do a kind deed for this poor woman and replace her furnishings for new pieces, the men go into a panic to get back the furniture for her once they realize the truth.
The 53rd precinct decides that the next group activity will be attending a Broadway play, but at the last minute, getting tickets for a popular show is about near impossible. When they find a play that is unpopular enough to accommodate their large group at such short notice, rumors fly that the police are trying to close the play for censorship reasons.
After overhearing Capt. Block rehearsing a play, Toody and Muldoon get the mistaken impression that the Captain is a kleptomaniac.
When the guys try to build up Muldoon's confidence enough to invite Capt. Block's niece to the Mardi Gras, Muldoon becomes an egomaniac for a day.
A group of crooks move to town right next door to the bank with full intention of robbing it; however, every attempt to break the adjacent wall down is interrupted by Toody and Muldoon who are just trying to help them make a go of their restaurant business. In the end, the restaurant goes so well that the owner and his pals decide that being an upstanding citizen isn't that bad after all.
Toody and Muldoon help set up ex-con Benny in a candy store business, but he doesn't waste time getting involved in the shadier side of life which gets him into hot water once again.
Toody and Muldoon run against each other for president of the Brotherhood Club.
Muldoon and Toody are assigned to help guard a visiting Russian official who is under the impression that the police force is a prime example of true American life.
When Conrad Nogal approaches the captain about doing a special show about how Muldoon's father cracked a world famous case single handedly, Fred stumbles upon his father's diary where the truth is revealed.
Gunther and Lucille Toody are trying to make some extra money. They decide to rent a room, taking in a preacher as a paying boarder. He seems as honest as the day is long but is he actually who he says he is?
After Toody casually mentions that today is an important day, rumors fly sending the precinct into a panic because no one can remember what occasion they've supposedly forgotten.
The precinct works hard to both rehabilitate and employ alcoholic Charlie.
As a boys' coach, both Muldoon and Toody promise Joel that he will have guests at his Bar Mitzvah. The problem is that Joel's dad is a notoriously cruel landlord, and getting folks to come is not as easy as they'd thought.
A group of criminals get pointers for their exploits by watching ""Crime Busters"", Officer Toody's favorite TV show. Since the plots of the shows are fresh in Toody's mind, he appears to be quite the expert in solving the crime wave in town.
With her charming ways, Mrs. Bronson practices a marriage brokerage fraudulently promising her clients marriage with movie stars.
To cheer Lucille because of her 40th birthday, Toody decides that a new wig would be just the thing; however, in the process of getting just the right wig for his wife, Sylvia stirs things up causing Lucille to think that her hubby is being unfaithful.
The precinct uses Sylvia Schnauser as a decoy to rid the town of ""Discovery Publishers"" which is run by a couple of con artists. As part of her cover, Sylvia insinuates that she is writing a book on the secrets of precinct life, and she ends up getting the whole crew in an uproad, afraid of exposure.
Judy thinks that her boyfriend Antoinne (a hair dresser), ought to quit boxing during his spare time so she asks Toody and Muldoon to intervene. They get Sugar Ray Robinson to disguise himself as an old man, to aid them in getting Antoinne to retire from the ring, but as it turns out, since Antoinne uses boxing as an emotional outlet he becomes anything but nice, insulting his clients at the beauty parlor. Toody and Muldoon admit to Antoinne their deceit in the matter, and Antoinne returns to the ring and his former pleasant self.
After Muldoon and Toody meet shy officer Snitkin, they convince him to join their precinct, not realizing that Snitkins is a jinx where ever he's gone.
An Extended Interview with Charlotte Rae and Hank Garrett
