In an effort to impress his high school crush, Kimmy Burton, Nitz tries to pack as many first week college experiences into the 3.5 hours before the dorm mixer as is humanly possible. With a little help from Gimpy and his minions, a self-hazing Rocko manages to be accepted into the Alpha Alpha fraternity.
State U. tradition has it that the first snowfall of the year means running around the campus...naked. To participate, Nitz realizes that he must lose weight, and fast. To spite his tyrannical RA, Gimpy leads his bands of nerd minions through a series of practical jokes in honor of Tekerson Tech Traditions Week.
After a Duggler led floor meeting on sex, Nitz grows uptight about his virginal status. And then mistakenly believing Kimmy to be a slut, Nitz decides to be extra-virginal along with his scared-straight buddy Cal. Rocko's ex-girlfriend is coming to town and he searches desperately for a girl he can flaunt in front of her.
When the Click spaces out on his first birthday away from home, Nitz starts hanging with a new group of friends. Spud usurps Gimpy as "number one" of the Tekerson nerds. Gimpy, with the help of the Click, must retake the leader crown by winning a video game deathmatch against Spud and his crack team of gamers. But Gimpy has no help from Nitz, who has drifted away from the Click.
A rough night of drinking convinces Rocko to give up the booze, even despite the efforts of his alcohol-induced-hallucination-buddy, Bobby Whiskey. When Nitz is invited to hang out with Kimmy and her friends at a bar, he decides it's time to learn to drink. Gimpy provides the fake ID, but the newly sober Rocko refuses to help Nitz.
Nitz promises to give Kimmy a magnificent travel clock he doesn't have, before she leaves to study abroad. Rocko's crude behavior gets him thrown out of the frat so he spends the weekend at State U. Rocko forces Nitz to party with him, distracting Nitz from getting Kimmy her clock. Gimpy eliminates any semblance of order from his dorm hall by introducing Cal to Rita the RA.
After returning from winter break, Nitz finds that noone remembers him, he then figures everyone else has an identity., and he wants one too. So, he goes on a quest to find the right one for him. Meanwhile, after finding the "I hate Cal" group, Cal wants a new identity too. Rocko teaches Cal to be more like him.
In order to pay off the bill he ran up on his Mom's credit card, Nitz takes a crappy work study job at the library. He no longer has time for his friends. Gimpy, Rocko, and Cal must find ways to help Nitz out of his financial bind: Gimpy sells stocks online, Rocko collects sperm for the sperm bank, women pay Cal for sex.
It's the final week of the year, commonly referred to a "screw week" Nitz deals with the fact that Kimmy might not be back next year, and therefore finds himself wondering if he should come back. Jessie deals with Nitz making a big deal out of Kimmy one to many times. Cal trains to be an R.A. next year. Rocko tries to find a place with a bar in the basement and roomates for next year. Gimpy realizes he must leave his room behind. Brody and Kruger study for finals.