Have you ever wondered about the relationship between Santa and parents in Christmas movies? Ever been curious as to why nobody has asked Edward Cullen why he’s retaken 12th grade seven times? Ever thought you could kick Arnold Schwarzenegger’s improbably sculpted ‘80s butt? Well, alleged “Doctor” Jordan Breeding certainly has, and he’s here to take a look at recurring movie plots only possible if everybody in the movie failed to graduate third grade. Which he definitely will soon.