This week, for the premiere of their award-winning series, Graham and Paul watch the eternally long opening cinematic of Eternal Sonata.
In a mall, full of zombies, two guys (Graham & Paul) and a microphone are all that stands between you and boredom. This week, it's Dead Rising.
Emo-haired brooding, pointless explosions, and unexplained backstory? Yup, it's Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus.
This week, a game that tries to be a Guy Ritchie film. "The Getaway" can't escape Graham and Paul, even if we fed it to the pigs.
Graham and Paul fly high with Grandia III. Too bad Yukie can't figure out how to get a plane off the ground.
This week, Graham and Paul team up to take on Two Worlds.
This week, Graham and Paul shed some light on The Darkness. Not the band, the game!
Graham and Paul take us into The Bouncer. If your fake ID doesn't work, there's always barber college.
In a crazy land of tentacled artichokes and anthropomorphic zebra monsters, Graham and Paul keep it real. This week, it's Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga.
In space, no one can hear you scream. On Earth, Graham and Paul can Run Like Hell.
Whether in modern-day France, or feudal Japan, Graham and Paul are ready to deal with flying bug monsters. This week, it's Onimusha 3: Demon Siege.
This week, Graham and Paul go deep into the heart of Africa to bust zombie heads in Resident Evil 5.
Graham and Paul go on a space adventure with Yahtzee! See their crossover appearance in Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars.
Ancient magic, lost treasures, sword-wielding badass chicks wearing hardly any clothes. What's not to love about X-Blades? The bad cinematic.
Adventure, and intrigue await in Radiata Stories. Maybe sometime after the goofy cutscene we'll get to see them.
An action-packed thrill ride awaits Graham and Paul, with the one but not only Bond, James Bond. This week, it's 007 in: Quantum of Solace.
Graham and Paul follow the adventures of the mighty flute-playing Cappel in Infinite Undiscovery.
A depressing look at the life of an Air Force wife. Oh yeah, and the game is about flying.
Graham and Paul go on a backseat safari adventure in Far Cry 2.
This week it's Lost Odyssey, in a land beneath the sky where invincible men roam.
Graham and Paul take a quick look at Alone in the Dark. Don't blink - you might miss it.
50 Cent takes Graham and Paul on a magic carpet ride to find an ancient bedazzled skull.
Graham and Paul mercilessly mock the E3 trailers for Final Fantasy XIV, Edge of Twilight and Huxley.
Drugs make for crazy summer blockbusters, and Haze is no different.
Graham and Paul use their looking glass on the steampunk robots of Damnation.
Graham and Paul are armed and ready for Bionic Commando.
Graham and Paul take a trip back in time, to a war-ridden country in Valkyria Chronicles.
Graham and Paul cast an eye at everyone's favorite adamantium-clawed berserker, in X-Men Origins: Wolverine Uncaged.
Graham and Paul get to play with swords, guns, and demons in Devil May Cry.
Graham and Paul kick off a month of Metal Gear Solid 4 episodes.
Metal Gear August continues, in an explosion-less graveyard.
Metal Gear August continues, with a naked monkey and a gun dealer.
Metal Gear August continues, teaming Snake up with the RATs.
The final installment of Metal Gear August introduces a device of literary proportions.
This week, Graham and Paul have some fun in the Martian sun.
The power and sneakiness of Vin Diesel is only matched by Graham and Paul's cleverness.
Graham and Paul take a look at the light side of Dark Sector.
Graham and Paul follow a dead guy with super powers. Don't worry - he's just a Prototype.
Graham and Paul have a look at some Might and Magic, in an evil lair that clearly isn't up to code.
Graham and Paul get caught in the middle of an epic battle between Vikings and spiky guys.
Graham and Paul have a run-in with Vikings... from the future.
Graham and Paul visit an ancient land of legend, and cliches.
Graham and Paul take a bus ride through the desert world of Pandora.
Graham and Paul have an adventure in the land of riding chickens and bunny people.
Evading a swarm of zombies mutants is just a matter of crossing the street.
Jak and Daxter take a trip to another world, dragging Graham and Paul along.
Graham and Paul meet a crack team of military specialists that seem to fall for everything.
Dante and Nero show their brotherly love, with swords and guns.
A little boy runs from giant mechs, in spaaaace!
Once again, the Bards are under represented.
Be sure to always get the HEATED codpiece.
Graham and Paul get swept into a massive battle of sub-epic proportion.
With the battle now over, our heroes struggle to make sense of a flashback.
The sights... in France aren't the only point of interest for an Irishman.
Evil robots are no match for a cartoon rodent that can run fast.
Graham and Paul hitch a ride with one of the Four Horsemen.
Our heroes find themselves trapped in the body of a time-traveler.
An apocalyptic future can only be saved by a witch, with a gun.
An undertaker admires the... scenery, as Bayonetta fights some angels.
Does a world full of blue cat people really need another army dude?
The mysterious City of the Dead is just a call away, or you can get there in a boat.
Firestorms erupt all over the world, and our only hope is a frozen guy.
Humans are fast becoming a minority in this dark and rainy world.
Brooding and the impossible hairdo go together like guns and swords.
Being the new guy sucks, doesn't it?
Take a trip to hell, in style.
Wouldn't it suck if it was foggy out when you jumped to your death?
Courtroom sketches finally get their own game.
An evil king takes over, and only a lazy kid can save the day.
Sam Fisher teaches his daughter a valuable lesson in darkness.
In a rural town, citizens discover a ghastly murder in the forest.
At last, the FBI agent arrives to solve the mystery.
In a snow-ridden city, a blonde guy unleashes a book monster.
Graham and Paul take a peek inside Pandora's Box.
Graham and Paul go back, to the age of N64 and pointy helmet hair.
So many E3 trailers, so few that look good.
But this time, it's for real...
The sequel the pilot episode! And yet, the armadillo...
The Akrid action continues, in the epic second half!
Whoever wins... actually no, we just straight-up lose.
A man and his dog. And the people they kill, violently.
And, to no one's surprise, a movie-license video game wasn't very good.
There's only one way out of Hell, and that's through it. Or, you could just not play.
Watch in awe as a prick tries to be a spy, who is also a prick.
An advance-release cinematic just means we get to laugh at Mickey sooner. And we do.
Maybe there's no more heroes because no one likes hanging out with jerks.
Boy meets dragon, boy kills dragon, boy meets girl, girl also kills same dragon... wait.
They're not that impressive, really. We've seen smaller.
Is Cybertron really worth going to WAR over?
The title could refer to the in-game terraforming, or the head injury we received while playing.
It's really less of a "march" and more of saunter. Or a mosey.
It's like a storm. Of blades. And Frenchmen.
Bad Company returns and this time, they're even worse.
Thrill as Patrick Stewart stalks a giant man.
A kingdom of people with silly names come under threat from other silly names.
The game may be in actual 3D, but that doesn't make better than the movie.
Watch in awe as the world's least interesting gangsters faff about.
Rush to discover the thrilling conclusion of real estate matters.
Graham and Paul use the knowledge they've gained from Unskippable for "good".
One of the greatest mythic heroes travels through the vast Uncanny Valley.
James Bond, permanent-scowl champion 2010, returns to kick martinis and drink butt.
When a scene opens on an idyllic setting, it's really only a matter of time until it all goes to hell.
"Vanquish" sounds better than "Space Russians vs the Robot Men", right?
If the guy from Journey to the West was named "Roid-Monkey", then yes, this is accurate.
It's refreshing to have an Italian protagonist that isn't Mario.
What happens when a man knows only punching? This, apparently.
The grand legend of the thief and the talking rat. It's an odd legend.
Graham and Paul take to Dead Rising 2 like a paddlesaw to zombies.
Chuck faces off with his ultimate nemesis: Catty women.
Graham and Paul finally defeat the ever-returning undead cutscene.
Paul and Graham try to avoid sleeping with the fishes.
The best morality-based poultry simulator since BioCluck.
A man arrives, walks, sits, and travels.
It's another WWII game, but this time: Dimly lit.
In which Stan Lee is again rolled out to lend it some credibility.
When you absolutely need mechanized military support, just call Programmer Guy and Valley Girl.
Programmer Guy takes his Wizard Wanzer out for a spin near Percival. It goes poorly.
We looked it up: "atelier" means "workshop". It didn't help us understand the game any better.
Well, it's got a prison at least, so it's at least half right.
A cinematic that really makes a year of grinding look more appealing. But not by much.
Just keep asking yourself, "Does this seem remotely like a game I want in my house?" (The answer is no).
We don't know where this world is, or why we should care, but apparently it's dawn.
In which Paul ruins everything.
Sure, you may not like your parents some times, but at least your dad isn't Death.
None of these are familiar places OR familiar faces. They're all grim.
This is what happens when you release your entire intro. Graham and Paul get ahold of it.
Graham and Paul like the part where the owls talk like people.
When Korea takes over America, they also kind of lose.
It's a crysis of incredibly dull proportions.
Part 2 sees Prophet engage in a passing of the protagonist torch. Shame the new guy has no personality.
A game named after the act of using the toilet with the lights off, yay!
Everyone's favorite hedgehog teleports into someone else's game.
Does this make it four worlds? Would four worlds even be better? We don't think so.
It's got demons! It's got forging! It's got LIES because it's got NEITHER of those things.
Isaac is back, and he has a voice now. We expect he'll use it to do a lot of screaming.
There's dragons, it's an age... finally! A game delivers!
What happens in New Vegas is covered with a layer of grime.
Regardless of our comments herein, any game that can be contracted to "COD BLOPS" is all right with us.
It's not that it's a bad game, it just wasn't the game Graham and Paul were expecting.
Yes, you read that correctly. The Black Knight. No, not the Monty Python one, that would be awesome.
Metroid goes with the other M.
Samus continues monologuing her way through a space adventure.
To quote the only piece of Ork dialogue in the game, "Spacemarine!"
Graham and Paul step through their PS2 portal. That was their first mistake.
Choose your destiny. Protip: Make it not be this game.
Answer the call of Juarez.
Team Action Minority assembles to mishandle witness protection.
Just let the scene wash over you. It's the only way G&P survived this one.
The story of a man, a different man, a car, a truck and an RPG.
It's important to accessorize and shields go with everything.
A tale of rebellion, intrigue and pointedly complete names.
We were mislead, the souls are wholly visible. They aren't even DIM souls. Fail.
Witness a girl trying to do alchemy, in a game trying to be fun.
Socom 4 makes walls fun for everyone.
Alice's memories help the madness make its triumphant return.
In which two grow men and/or demons stand around awkwardly and compare penis size.
Such an angry name for such a benign game.
Is it just the crusade that cursed? Because this game seems kind of cursed too.
Warning: Playable characters do not contain actual X-Men™
We cut out the item examinations and the game is 5 minutes long.
Featuring all the LotR characters you love... mentioned in vague references, while you play as a bunch of nobodies.
At what point will zombies cease to be a surprise?
Parker & O'Hara: They fight crime, through time!
We didn't ask for this, but here it is, rammed in our eyes like a cybernetic augment.
When you used to be an angel, everything sucks. Especially the textures.
Mr. Lennox meets a man who is apparently the CEO of Hell.
If anyone needs Graham & Paul, they'll be hiding in their duck blind.
Zombie-proof chest sounds like a great thing to have.
Join us for the adventure of a lifetime: Japanese man answers phone!
The ongoing adventures of Japan's slowest paced gangsters.
The further adventures of Blandy McBlanderson and his friends with swords.
16 quips, Desmond freaks out and Ezio kicks ass. Both literally and as objective descriptor.
Intro to an epic fantasy game or Power Rangers action scene? You decide.
Sometimes, being the head of a crime family isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Who exactly wouldn't want a chip in their head? I guess that it is the next step after smart phones.
Worst place to wake up after a night of drinking? Dead body pile.
Not as good as the first one, and way not as good as the movies.
The amazing adventures of Default Guy and the giant Dragon.
The most confusing kingdom in RPG history continues to make less sense than before.
If you look closely you can see your character.
Death. Not even once.
If "gaiden" means "side-story", what the hell is the main story?!
The game lumbered in front of Graham and Paul, like an angry, geriatric moose.
Graham and Paul were like two startled gophers ... they also didn't understand this scene.
So what does an Escort Pilot do, anyway?
Graham and Paul are going back to the PS2 for the month of August. There's a lot of games they missed.
The female Tekken characters just can't catch a break with their costumes.
A game where you run away and set off traps. So ... really gripping stuff.
I think that I speak for everyone here when I say that I hope she gets to finally see her dragon.
Since leaving the PS2 in the past where it belongs, Paul and Graham enter this century.
The Witcher 2 and the punching mini-game.
This game wishes that you would invert your taste in games.
One of the most elaborate and expensive jokes comes to Unskippable.
The epic tale of a princess who is woefully under-dressed for a walk outside the castle.
The thrilling tale of Princess Meruru comes to an explosive conclusion.
Death, the winner of the Got Your Nose competition.
This Mercer guy seems to be a bad egg.
Prototype 2, now with three colors.
You don't want to skip this information filled romp through Lollipop Chainsaw.
This story of a giant hole in the ground just got exciting.
Space westerns that you might forget occur in space.
Zany swords are all the rage among fighters in the SoulCalibur universe.
In the first leg of Silent Hill: Downpour they take a good long look at Phillip Seymour Hoffman in prison.
This week we have an lesson in proper bus behavior.
You have been tasked with the simple task of saving the free world. No pressure.
Unlike the Call of Duty franchise, Future Soldier features geese.
Graham and Paul ponder cleavage and poor office attire.
Teleporting assassins? Isn't that kind of cheating?
Join Graham and Paul as they're dropped into the middle of an epic battle.
Join Graham and Paul as they try and find out just how easy it is to get into organized crime.
Join Graham and Paul as they learn about vaults and the people who hunt them.
Orphen may or may not be an actual orphan.
Far Cry 3 seems like Outward Bound with some serious consequences.
Paul and Graham give you a great view of the alien invasion.
Two friends are out adventuring when suddenly ... ANIME!
Finally we get to see the origin story of Master Blaster.
Apparently the Animus makes you immune to carrying boxes.
Before you ask, no, we still don't get to see what Master Chief looks like under the helmet.
Agent 47's super secret assassination organization must work with some sort of super secret stamp manufacturer.
That's right, this game's about zombies and organized crime. In Japan!
Graham and Paul take you through the hallowed halls of Ocsorp.
Graham and Paul watch helplessly as Peter Parker goes where he shouldn't go.
Graham and Paul follow Dante as he makes a bad decision or two.
Graham take you into the cartoonishly cartoonish world of Mickey and Oswald, the lucky rabbit.
Graham and Paul do their best to make it through the daunting opening of Resident Evil 6.
Why do they wear those highly reflective and noticeable masks again?
Paul and Graham become entangled in a Crysis ... 3.
Paul and Graham take you into the game that takes you so deep into a flashback you won't know where, or when, you are.
This week we learn how to avoid danger by ignoring distress calls.
Graham and Paul take us through the sandy desert in order to bring us to Spec Ops: The Line.
Graham and Paul give us the a brief tour of what was shown at this E3.
Graham and Paul take you on a relaxing trip to Columbia.
This week we catch up with the few people that just can't get away from the zombie outbreak no matter where they go.
Graham and Paul take us through a decimated Metropolis.
Graham and Paul take us into the zombie infected future of 2005.
Sometimes security isn't really all that secure.
Graham and Paul travel to the not so distant future to give us a good look at the Russian subway system.
Graham and Paul take us on a long and unnecessarily winding road.
Graham and Paul go further down the rabbit hole that is the Moscow metro.
Boundless energy, or not turning into a horrible monster? In Dead Space 3, nobody can hear you scream after you make a really, really stupid decision.
E3 would definitely be more entertaining if it was like this game.
Join Graham and Paul as they try to understand the reasoning behind this game.
Kratos once again finds himself in a bit of a sticky situation.
Paul and Graham get dark for this very special episode dedicated to those Vampires that we hold dear.
Wait, what was I talking about?
You may have forgotten but remember to check out part two of Remember Me.
Join Graham and Paul as they find Nicolas Cage stranded on an island covered in cliche.
Graham and Paul defy your expectations in their look at Defiance.
Did that horse just do a barrel roll?
Graham and Paul go beyond with BEYOND: Two Souls.
Graham and Paul get their license to kill.
Aren't weddings such magical affairs?
Some weddings get Super Saiyan pretty damned quick.
Graham and Paul get inducted into the Saints and bring us along for the ride.
Graham and Paul take us all the way up the stairs to see Tales of Xillia.
This can only end in tears.
Don't worry everything will be fine, promise.
Graham and Paul take us further down the rabbit hole that is The Last of Us.
Paul and Graham prove that Anarchy does indeed Reign.
Graham and Paul jump on the grenade for you and enter the sandy world that is Splinter Cell.
In the game of thrones, you win or you die. Sometimes both!
I don't quite think the Ghostbusters are equipped to deal with this one.
Somehow, I think the Moon is behind all this killing.
The compelling story of a guy who never wins anything, and the girl who browbeats him into gambling anyway.
Congratulations on becoming God! Try not to let it go to your head.
If the fear is so cold, maybe it should put on a sweater?
And boy, she's quite mad she didn't get invited to this party.
Unfortunately, there are parts of AC4: Black Flag that have a severe lack of pirates and high seas adventure.
Bruce Wayne hosts the worst press conference ever.
I think Michael needs a better therapist.
Especially when people keep DROPPING STARS ONTO YOUR FLOWERS!
Thievin' ain't easy.
Also, creepy giant fireflies.
No one expects a surprise pendulum!
Starring Ron Perlman.
Also starring the Red Skull's lesser known cousin, Skull Face!
Sometimes it's hard to decipher Deckard Cain's ramblings as either legitimate prophecy or senility.
On second thought, yeah, you probably should fear the reaper. You should fear him a lot.
Further proof that Crytek has something against the letter 'I'.
Why is everything on fire in this game?
Battles in the rain just aren't a whole lot of fun.
Zombie scouts can't be the most reliable scouts.
E3 pulled out all the stops this year, to give us the best game (trailers) ever!
Graham and Paul riff on another batch of overhyped E3 trailers! Except for Farming Simulator 15, that one looks pretty legit.
It's hard to take on The Man when you're related to him.
Delsin can't catch a break, but he can sure as hell break stuff.
Man, little one-eyed blobs have it rough in the fantasy world.
The Hundred Knight meets his new overlord, and she's less than impressed that he can't emit liquid fire from various orifices.
Man, whatever drugs this kid is on, I'd like to try some.
Okay, who decided to make Donald Duck the one guy in charge of casting complicated magic spells ?
We like to think this is how all ninjas get psyched for battle.
In this game, we learn that Spider-man has all the powers of a spider - ability to climb walls, create webs and have incredibly taught thighs.
Killzone: Shadow Fall's opening sequence raises so many questions, but provides so few answers
Killzone's nonsensical intro continues!
The quest to save this princess is a little tricky in this one
There's a lot of anger in this game. Maybe Asura should take a minute and relax?
There ain't no drama like melodrama.
Press X to flex!
...But I'm sure it's nothing, given all the enthusiastic hand waving
It was the end, but it also was a beginning... of an end.
You think after 2 previous games, they'd get a handle on how to contain zombies.
Apparently, I know less about this show then I even thought I did.
Well, at least they're not furiously typing on a keyboard in a van.
Bayonetta takes some personal time off and heads to New York for a shopping spree.
Also, good luck explaining the part that happens at around 4 minutes to your parents if they walk in while you're watching this.
Seriously.
Also, it's a bad day to be a narrator.
The incredible adventures of a professor and his ghost.
Abandoned derelict space station? What's the worst that could happen?
Spiders, larger spiders. Nope, nope, nope. Leaving now.
You're not getting your drop pod deposit back.
Don't worry it was just a light stab wound.
Everyone I've talked to is super dead.
This is supposed to be subtle psychological horror, right?
Should I stay or should I go?
It's very rude to text at the table.
So it's more Assassin's Creed: Black Flag? Yeah, I'm ok with that.
What happened to my game about stabbing people in the throat in historical settings?
Let's all stand around a table and discuss the ills of the land.
No really, this is truly terrible. Enjoy!
The situation is dire in the darkest dark.
Abstergo Industries - "We're not at awful as Umbrella Corporation."
Who speaks French in France?
I honestly can't think of a better game to end on.