-Guarding the pee (skiing equipment) -intro -buying condoms -Glenn Humplik is hiding -Tom talks with some striking Ontario teachers. -The clam digger skiff -Gas engine in the mall -blind date with David bowie -interview with Aliea Hewert from express connections- -NYPD GREEN (greasy cop) -bowling trophy (your the champ!) -band: local rabbits
-prime minister can you sign my balls -intro -everyone likes fights (magneto vs. wolverine) -the southpole crew -meat vs. mug -the bag lady (time to clean the city) -hugs -interview with the butcher (lambs head fun) Russell Chuadary -Ashley Maciassac (im Ashley Friggin Macissac) -pump it up ya'll (hand held rap) -Toms Grandma, and the infamous briefcase of Dereks -band: Bloody Chickets
-beach tanning (know what im saying) -intro -oxymen girls are pretty -someone took Glenn's watch (but I have a watch motch motch motch) -hugs -clockwork orange (hustlin dude) -interview with the guy from the "Waffle house" -Scubahood -dirty pictures (Glenn is big in the gay community) -buying condoms part 2 -band: This minor tremble
-do ya think IM sexy? -intro -interview with the spanish sailor -Glenn shows his ass (Money Bags Humplik) + Tom sings "Children" -this is a message from Don Carleon! (cow head at 3am) -Where are you going. aka: Tom vs. Old man! -Lord Sheffield razor guest. Shaving Toms Legs -climbing palm trees in the sun -band: Hot Piss
-hollywood blvd. bums talk with Tom -intro -the Canterbury tales -fire in parents bed at 3am -toms parents gueststar, and fire extinguish tom and Glenn -tom raps with some sisters. They think he is french, Italian, or polish. But he is not jewish. -fishing for the vacuum shark -vandex guest.. tom sniffs it and goes ballistic -have no fear, burning feet man is here -rappin with yet another sister.. tom dances free style -cow brain boat -band: Scratching post
-Tom solves the OJ simpson murder mystery -intro -hockey guy -tom with the old man makeup. Dave Allston is ejected and banned from the show (good) -pissed off scientist -Phil giroux's bachelor tips. use paper plates and plastic bowls. bed lots of women. make tom laugh.. etc -tom neilson, guest.. whipping onions at the tom green/brad pitt painting on the wall -NYPD GREEN : ballistics... "now eat my ass!" -3am radio easter egg hunt at Toms parents house -toms grandmother gives tongue brushing techniques -kiki and the tv cans on the trees -band: salmonblaster
-Tom, Derek, and Ray run outta gas in mexico. tom does impressions for people waiting for the gas -intro -Jimmy cab, makes replica of earth. sends man hole covers around the world -Glenn gives instructions for tom to be funny. tom sprays food and sauce on the audience..chaos -big ben -ufo's are real. Tom is visited by the "raelien" cult -guest Joanne, the nail gun expert -a date with god Glenn Humplik: the sucker. Glenn is forced to by a young girl radiohead tickets, and in return tom gets him a 'sucker' tshirt -tom interrupts an Elvis fan concert.. dances and gets people pissed -band: short fall
-tom plays a bus driver.. who makes a young boy walk past his stop -intro -breadheads return: tom hassles people who he thinks are is mommy. "are you my mother" -Foster Children Tug of war. Alimotou -Glenn's day of justice, toms revenge -tom the movie usher -guest: some relationship expert -condom buyer, with the little engine -tom in drag. swimming with fish and sharks in the ocean -toms new joke.. sidewalk headbanging -band: starling -tom has fun at the Hollywood sign, but its raining
-dancing man, and tom -intro -fun with science, the urinating scientist -tic tac toe with the audience, yelling at them "you stupid dummy" -rappin with the wheelchair brother in Chicago, talking about cheese -hockey guy -foreign cultures, with your host: Jim Cab -guest: ceiling fan expert -the duster -the apology (skinny pig): with derek and tom, apologizing for being filthy liars -band: spinecracker
-dennis woodruff, the struggling actor -intro -tom fulfills a dream: meeting Alex trebek -a game: stinky whiskey buttons with the audience -rappin with the wheelchair brother in Chicago, talking about batteries -Derek Harvies impounded car is found in Kingston, and he is almost arrested for hopping a fence -guest: soap dispenser expert -hip hop woman (tom in drag.. kicks it fresh) -ceiling fan: sending hotdogs around the world -driving with a cab driver, who is a masturbation expert -band: boywonder
-Hollywood gay old man -intro -the power of the camera: the drunk imbecile that tom and Phil met in a bar. Who is tied up, and covered with milk -guest: car starter expert. Tom covers his face with tinfoil and screams at him -Humplik: an astronaut in training -tom walks with a swagger -Phil's pickup techniques.. trying to get tom a hug and kiss, phil practically humps a chick -cookin a live lobster with Glenn and tom -NYPD GREEN : the smallest father. "your father is dead asshole" -harassing a nice pakistani man. "say you love the tom green show" "i dove de domb gren shiew" -band: bertha does moosejaw -toms eyes and talking with ray, as credits roll
-rotting head cartoon guy.. Eagle ate his brain -intro -fashion police, with tom, some girl, and toms ex -tom calls audience members house, and tells their parents that he is screwing their daughter, doing cocaine, etc -3am , the slut mobile -mexican boner in toms pants -pro fur lady -mc face, video for "slaughta ya oughta" -standup comedy loser -celebrity watching: jean claude vandamme, vanilla ice, hitler, and Leslie neilson -fun with street musicians -band: sully
-shock at the marilyn manson concert -intro -come blow with me -Guest: Jean-marc from Ritchies welding -Searching Mexico for Toms cross dressing brother -cartoon guy and his bag of eyes -Hip Hop camping -Breaking Wayne Gretzkys records -Fun Game: Hair + Vaseline game with audience girl Jody -Tom Green Land -the philophser -NYPD GREEN: Under Desk -band: brandon walsh
- Terry Cloth robe: Tom and SNL's Will Farrell discuss his nice aqua bath robe - intro - Talkin with Glenn, the money grubbing bastard - Falling down in the streets.. (making fun of cripples) - Revivin' a dead moose - Guest: Bruce the chef.. throwin a halibut into the audience - Billy Bob's Mountain... eatin caramels in town - Cyntra the Domanatrix .. you pee on people! how much for the warm poo - Foamin newsreporter... Tom visits a Calgary television station during noon news. - Glenn's scam: moving Laptops - Tom visits a joke shop. Finds an anal intruder, and a masturbation kit.. embarrasses old woman - Game: Jugs of Orange Juice. Spraying Glenn Humplik with milk - Signing with the old native woman: "and away we go.." - Finale with the sleeping moose, more humping..
- Playing soccer with a deer - Intro - Secret audience camera: Spraying Glenn Humplik with milk - Billy Bob: "I like putting rocks in my bum" - Guest: Rene', the crazy mental guy that cant speak clearly - Small town: Kenora, Ontario. High voiced Tom applies at local radio stations, followed by cable access show: Big city Beef - Making fun of Humplik's car: the suzuzki swift - Holding up traffic: tom puts his face on the side of a bus - Sneakin into movies: makin friends with scott - Talkin with a crazy old racist man "I like that negro eddie murphy" - Glenn Humplik loves children: Who are slaves and make his t-shirts. Spraying Glenn Humplik with milk - Observation Humor
- Playing with chipmunks - Intro - Glenn message to children: smoke tom green show cigarettes.. "hey im the best" - Milkin Cows: Police Officer - Phone Fun: "the best pizza", a look back at the cartoon Hercules. Spraying Glenn Humplik with milk - Billy Bob's friend Joan - Giving drives to people : the magnet man - Rubbing the mic on 2 laughing old Italian guys - Sean the van guy meets Tom. Lets have a hand for the pedophiles - Toms bloody bike injury - Guest: Denise Swanson. The Crack Baby dont come back lady - Tom interrupts meeting, violence erupts "Im a piece of corn on the cob! Im a myna bird!"
- Scaring a window washing lady - Intro - Glenn and Tom talk about Garvrosh (Glenns cat). Tom gives Glenn 2 kittens as a present. He has to keep them or they die - Lauries dead pigeon - Glenn drinking alcohol on the show - Is Tom funny when he is drunk?: Rum and coke, throwin up Lebanese food - Makin Glenn vomit: "Come on hump daddy!" - Milkin Cows: Tom in Drag - Guest: Jacques, dressed as a sunflower ... plays with Racky the dead racoon - Soccer Hooligan - Toms Parents, Tom and Phil must save Toms dad.. buying medicine in china town from Dr. Chang. Skate boarding, Tom wipes out
- Observational Humor: You ladies all have nice hair cuts.. you must work in a salon - Glenns a major ladies man. Cheated on his girlfriend in a ski chalet - Milkin Cows: Captain Kirk - Toms a taco: dipped into salsa by Hump - Intercom trixter - Guest: Kim Rogers; lab technician, and Phils girlfriend. Also touches Phils penis - Toms artistic masterpiece: Tiger Zebra. Hanging in the national gallery of Canada - Tom flicks Phils piss at Glenn - Rescuing a dead hawk - Glenn gives Tom some porn. Glenn steals cable with a black box - Tom pours semen onto Glenn.. he'd been saving up - Tom sings to Pierce Brosnon - Guest: a psychic that really sucks.
- Milkin Cows: Tom dressed as a cop milks a cow in downtown Toronto - Intro - Pizza Stick: Glenn Humplik - Modern Family Restaurant - Guest: Allen Shields: nudist, fun old guy - Lookin for nature, wrapped in saran wrap and tinfoil - Contest for a cruise: phone inside Racky - Talking with a toothless old man - Injured bird gets into the bank - Chainsawing the desk - Injured Tom with Bike... cops bust him - Beat Glenn with a loaf of bread - Toms poem to a chinese girl
- Allen Shields in his undies falls down the stairs - Intro - Blue faced Humplik. Contest: Guess the sound. Glenn likes his sisters breasts - Tourist Tom: "This sucks.. ohh that sucks" - Phone fun: calling people, guess the sound contest - Billy Bob: drinking the kids juice.. - Phil Giroux: likes to laugh at the less fortunate - Talking with the deaf old man, makin faces - Tom and Glenn makeout - 3am in St. Paul. The UFO visitor - Guest: Art the sperm expert. Phils semen is tested, then flung at Glenn by Tom. - The rock collector: Tom eats cow shite - Chainsawing the desk: evacuate the studio - Crowd outside, Tom plays in a fire truck...
- Milkin Cows: Tom the cop milks cows in downtown Toronto. Derek is interviewed and says its great and artistic - Intro - Electric Fly swatter test on Glenn - You can order these amazing products - Dancing with dead fishes - A fan writes: Glenn does nothing on the show. Spraying a Polaroid of Glenn Humplik with milk - Security Enthusiast - The man with paper wings - Toms revenge on metro magazine - "I love you Glenn": Tamera the stripper gives glenn a lap dance - More fly swatter fun - Talking with the deaf old man part 2 "can ladies wear shorts?" - Chainsawing the desk.. putting the head through the hole - Kids should enjoy nature.. they shouldnt do drugs and put their penises into vaginas ok!
- Billy Bob annoys a street mime - Intro - Billy Bob hosts the show. Talks about Ray Hagel molesting him - Milking Cows: The Mexican Hombre' Senior' Herve' - Visiting Ray in the truck... more molest talk - Makin faces: talking to a gibbering old man - Poster Abuse in Ottawa, morbid guitar woman - Guest: David Blackman.. with Billy Bob. Chainsawing Dolls, and milk - Playing Guitar: Harassing people in a pink dress - Talking with a lady eating pie "Go to hell" - Billy Bobs prank phone calls - Talkin with people in a store.. Tom rolls around on his back - More Billy Bob prank calls.. Discussing Glenn selling Hash - Playing with hick kids go karts
- Singing East Indian dude intro... - Intro - Talkin with Glenn; clip showing how much SNL's Will Farrell hates Glenn - Tom dresses as a robot, and prepares to eat some meat - Harassing people in a cowboy hat, singing a western ditty over and over again - The Ottawa sticker man - Playing with the phone: shocking a audience member "Dont break it.. it cost 15 bucks" - How to make a hand glider - "Deer run faster than people...bugs bite people..making it harder to film animals.. sunsets are nice.. and Toms an idiot" - Phil Giroux gets a nude massage - Billy Bob talks about carrots - Phone contest: Guess the sound - Mc Face: attends a wood carving convention - Chainsawing the phone
- Clutch clip; Tom is the internet cafe worker - Intro - Brick wall action! happening here tonight - Celebrity Watching: rocket richard, nelson mandela - I like Coffee.. I also like God - Talkin with a Mr. Sub employee - Billy Bob talks with young ladies eating pizza - Dustpan: The 12oz coffee cup part 2 - The grand wizard election - Visiting Ray Hagel in the truck.. Glenn slams an egg in a audience girls face - Crazy Tom in an elevator: talkin about crappy books he has - Open audition for "the new baby" - Racky the raccoon magic tricks - Old guy doesnt like the way T.V. is going - Wrap Up... cheese sandwich couple
- Chinese dude intro - Intro - Defending Humplik, Glenn doesnt know C++ (neither do I..) - Tom goes on a garbage route - Bullhorn comedy in Eatons, talking to the deaf camera man.. using bullhorn to announce he has condoms - Phone Fun: calling crime stoppers reporting Glenn cheats on his girlfriend. Spraying Glenn Humplik with milk - Celery Generals - Guest: Ed the Sock. Spraying milk on ed, and his puppeteer - The dysfunctional mall. Repeats segment replaced with profile on Humplik: the band (due to legal reasons) - Glenn Humplik sings a song: "When I was young"
- Tom helps to fight fires - Intro - Talkin with P-Jroo - Checking the overheated car - Spraying audience with water - Driving audience home in OC transpo bus - Harassing audience member parents - Humplik offers to drive some young female fans home in his suzuki swift - Tom almost gets his ass kicked by audience member roommate Stu - Eric the last audience member meets Toms parents.. is asked to french kiss them - Fin
Years before comedian Tom Green was amusing, amazing, and appalling American audiences with his over-the-top gross-out humor on MTV (and even before he became a star in his native Canada), he was just another loony with a show on public access TV. Early Exposure: Raw Meat and Rare Treats is a collection of "highlights" from Tom Green's earliest TV efforts, culled from episodes of his "variety show" for the Rogers TV cable access channel in Ottawa, where he made his first steps toward fame in 1993.
Compilation of clips from Tom Green's Canadian series, released on VHS in 1999.
This special was shot for The Tom Green Show for Canadian public access TV. This aired live on a Thursday night from 11pm until midnight. This experimental episode is part performance art part complete insanity. The idea was to create a live Christmas special where in the early introductory moments it's host, Tom Green, suffers a meltdown of sorts, but continues broadcasting a under improvised spell for the remaining 55 minutes. Doesn't get much weirder than this. You may want to watch the entire episode. But only if you dare.
an episode of tom greens original rogers public access tv show
