Have you looked in the mirror lately and thought to yourself, "Ewww..."? Well "Ewww" no longer, friends. Come on down to Bald’s Gym! Where abs are churned, not earned, and you sculpt your body not into a Greek god, but into a glistening, viscous tub of full-fat Greek yogurt. Let us show you how to go from stick to thick! Forget Mt. Olympus—our clients ascend to Mt. Dairy, oiled and trembling with pure probiotic power! At Bald's Gym, we make your thighs creamy, your arms custard-like, and your core cultured. Why be sculpted from granite when you can be molded from jelly? Put down that chalky protein shake, pick up a spoon, and join Bald's Gym today!