Greetings, you luminous kitchen sprites! Today, we’re embarking on a journey — not just of baking, but of awakening your lifestyle & fashion demon through the delicate magic of edible flowers. Because why just eat cake when you can also accessorize it? STEP 1: DON'T GET YOUR BEGONIAS IN A BUNCH To avoid a trip to the E.R., avoid begonias and instead find manufactured spiritual enlightenment with freshly-picked rose petals, pansies, or marigolds. STEP 2: CLEAN THOSE FILTHY FLOWERS Rinse your petals in a bowl of Acqua di Cristallo Tributo a Modigliani from a secret spring in France, which you can find on sale for $80,000 per bottle, as regular bottled water tastes of mediocrity. STEP 3: BAKE THAT CAKE, B**CH Today, we’re making our signature probiotic pistachio lavender cupcakes with 24-carat gold flakes, Bavarian yak yeast, and crushed rose petals. As you whip the batter, be sure to say a prayer to a deity of your choice...