All aboard! This year, book a tantalizing stay on The Queen Mary as you evacuate any one of Southern California’s various natural disasters. Our arousing accommodations await in your very own Self-Love-Stateroom, offering the perfect atmosphere for an auto-erotic experience while you watch KTLA’s 24-hour local news forecast. Self-Satisfaction is virtually guaranteed, with packages that include horny goat weed cocktails, personal massagers, perfumed body oils, and many other scintillating amenities to encourage extraordinarily loud climaxes that can easily be heard by your neighbors in the next room. Place self-love and self-care at the forefront of your magnificently masturbatory stay at The Queen Mary, with master rates starting at just $999.