As we gather together this week to celebrate America's 248th birthday on rooftops, in backyards, and on sandy beaches, let us indulge ourselves with highly processed, nitrate-filled beef rods, sun-baked mayonnaise-soaked potato salad, and luke-warm hard seltzers. In the true spirit of our nation's independence, we are presenting a carefully curated collection of clips that cover the broad spectrum of important topics we routinely cover on the pod. From rimjobs to fisting to combination rim-fist-jobs, let us all pause for a moment of silence and pray to a heathen god of your choice that the majority of us will make it through the coming firework-laden holiday weekend with the same number of fingers, hands, and appendages that we have today. From all of us here at the Bald Headquarters in an abandoned missile silo outside Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, we wish you and yours the Hap Hap Happiest 4th of July ever!