As the holiday season rapidly ascends to the apex of yuletide cheer, you may find yourself experiencing a warm, tingly sensation deep within your abdomen. It's a condition known as "Merry Malady" and it affects .000001 % of the population. Side effects include dry mouth, erotic internet searches containing the phrase "Candy Cane," consumption of Trimix-spiked eggnog, and unexpected dating propositions in local big-box retail stores. Nine out of ten doctors agree that taking 70mg daily of Noëlvy will lessen the likelihood of experiencing E-E-S (embarrassing erectile syndrome) when overcome with holiday cheer. For this holiday and every holiday, take Noëlvy and avoid a rigidity disaster.