While Margaret Thatcher impersonates the Queen, can Joan collins really be in bed with John McEnroe? As Bob Dylan protests against the use of cheese, Mick Jagger gets in trouble whilst abusing other dairy products. Meanwhile, in 'The Presidents Brain Is Missing', President Reagan wakes up in bed with a stuffed monkey...
As a parasitic version of Janet Street-Porter speaks to you live and direct from Nancy Regan's navel, Jeremy Wilcox is in his back garden at No. 9 Downing Street, London, flirting with Prime Minsiter Margaret Thatcher over the hedge. Prince Charles pays a strange visit to the Falklands while Lawson is interrogated by Thatcher and Norman Tebbit over the budget - with dire consequences!
While the Cabinet celebrates Michael Heseltine's resignation, Prince Philip wastes his time trying to teach his son how to play Colditz. Ronald Reagan's diary tells the inside story on the presidency, and celebrities band together for another charity songbecause they are scared of Bob Geldof.
Prince Andrew's in trouble wih his Pa for the size of his unmentionables. Terry Wogan chooses Sooty as his holiday replacement while Margaret Thatcher works on a new softer image. Derek Jameson gor-blimeys his way through another horrible programme.
Sir David Attenborough has a philosophical discussion with a suicidal seal. Leon Brittan discusses the possible repercussions of being outed as a mole and Brian Walden discovers that you can't put a better bit of Botha on your knife.
Desmond Wilcox's new intrusive, fly-on-the-wall documentary comes to grief when the happy couple refuse to watch 'That's Life!'. Sir Alistair Burnet almost come to blows with John Craven when 'News At Ten' doesn't have a funny story to end the show.
Arthur Daley has to bow out of Thatcher's service because he's just not sleazy enough. Jim Callaghan shows the best way to grow your money, while the Shadow Cabinet break into Number 10 and the Queen Mother buys a new titfer (hat).
Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson (Fergie), try to sort out their wedding plans, while a brand new song about holding chickens aloft gets it's first airing. The Who discover that they are no longer the voice of urban youth, and Prince Charles meets up with a cheeky Cockney chappie.
Ian Paisley indulges in a bit of shouting while Larry gives Johnny advice on ducks. A political dinosaur ponders wistfully on the lack of values in modern-day society. Frank Muir threatens to strangle Denis Norden again.
President Botha gives his country The Facts as he sees them, while some unsuspecting Mormons pay a visit to Cliff Richard's house. Barry Norman discovers that Meryl Streep is actually Dustin Hoffman, who wants to be both the greatest actor and greatest actress.
Ronald Reagan confides to Nancy his idea for finishing off Gadaffi. Mick and Keith indulge in a bit of shopping and Andrew Ridgeley from pop group Wham!, tries for a solo career. Bernard Levin encourages Jonathan Miller to call him Ishamel.
Michael Foot sends the rest of the Shadow Cabinet to sleepybobos. Tarby interviews Michael Caine about some of his favourite cheques and Russell Harty gets a bit flustered whilst interviewing 'The Sun's' page three pinup Samantha Fox. Ronald Reagan employs the Four Larrys of the Apocalypse as new advisors.
The latest edition of 'Potato World' is interrupted with the breaking news that no nuclear accidents have happened at Chernobyl. The Royal Family indulge in a bit of a sing-song for a new album, while David Owen takes the SDP back to the shop as he believes it may well have ceased to be.
David Coleman introduces the Euro Winkle Championships while Cliff frowns on Mrs. Whitehouse's non-virginal status. Margaret Thatcher causes consternation amongst her Cabinet when she discusses the subject of her successor.
Brucie has isues with Tarby's new material when he discovers that it's just a potato. Andy and Fergie become concerned when Billy Connolly helps to write the Queen's Christmas Message. The press react with predictability when Sooty is put in charge of the NCB.
Edwina Currie vents her spleen on the state of the National Health Service. Singer Bryan Ferry tries to release a new album but finds opposition from his record company, while Des Lynam hosts the 1986 World Chess Campionships and Paul Daniels seeks the path to enlightenment.
Prince Philip grumbles that not only are his quotes being taken out of context, but that he's also expected to eat dog sick. Actor Leslie Grantham finds it hard to catcha cab, while things don't go to plan when the Penns and the McEnroes have dinner together.
While Sir Alastair fawns lyrical, he is taken to task for not using enough superlatives. Paul Daniels helps 'Eastenders' become Britain's favourite programme, while Mr. Beezlebub gets a surpise visit from Margaret Thatcher.
Norman Tebbit ensures that the Government gets unbiased news coverage by doing it all himself. Brucie Forsyth tries to get his toupee past Customs and the Two Davids get a visit from the Ghost of the Liberal Party Past.
When a Cherubic urchin gets an unfortunate visitation from the Tooth Fairy, the BBC News gets a revamp with Marcel Marceau reporting live from Northern Ireland. A bunch of professional cockneys show off their new long-playing record and Jeffrey Archer appears on Mastermind - his special subject; Jeffrey Archer.
Points of View is taken to task for a continuity error made during the transmission of some hard-core porn, Neil Kinnock takes on a true Mission Impossible - turning the Labour Party into an electable force by 1992 - and Bros are shocked to find that they've just gone out of fashion.
Mrs. Thatcher confesses her true feeling to Ronald Reagan, whilst yet another ITV Telethon tries it's best but fails miserably. Alan Bennett attempts to get Richard Attenborough interested in his new play about an old lady from Huddersfield who can't open a packet of biscuits. Dickie's not sold on the idea.
In an attempt to capture the Green Vote the entire cabinet has grown beards, including Mrs. Thatcher. Sycophancy runs riot during the Royal Variety Show which, this year, celebrates 'Prince Edward - One Year in Showbusiness'. Donald Sinden personally introduces its highlight - Ben Elton taking a brisk trot through history as The Fool.
Jimmy Greaves' concerns about hooliganism at Wimbledon are laid to rest, while Esther Rantzen has a bit of a shock when she meets a dog that refuses to say 'sausages'. While the truth about Kennedy's assasination still refuses to come out, Pavarotti gives a star turn at 'the Last Night Of The Yobs'.
The Conservative government try to reassure the people that the vast majority of statements made by Edwina Currie are harmless. Robery Kilroy investigates the future of broadcasting and John Mortimer fights the case for quality television. Neil Kinnock, leader of The Labour Party, gives a radio performance of 'Under Milk Snatcher', a play for voices very definately not written by Welsh poet Dylan Thomas.