The Visitor

Fried chicken is delicious. So is butterscotch pudding. Ditto a tall, frosty IPA. A dozen freshly shucked oysters, yes please. Veal picatta? Mmmmm! Now, put all them all in a blender and hit puree. That’s the equivalent of The Visitor. Here’s a straw! The Visitor’s got ambitious cinematography, big name actors, and a score that makes The Goblin sound like they barfed on their Casio. But when you add them all together, the result is a baffling mess, as incoherent as it is unintentionally funny. When a young girl begins to manifest her latent psychic abilities, viewers will undoubtedly be reminded of dozens of movies with similar plots. But The Visitor introduces a twist that RiffTrax fans will never see coming: poorly rendered killer birds attacking! Why it’s all John Huston can do to not fall asleep in terror mid-scene. Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, several bald children, a basketball team who can only score by dunking, an evil cabal of satanist businessmen, and the most unfortunate movie mom since Bambi for The Visitor!