Ice on Mars: Star Trek Voyager: Ex Post Facto

Imagine a world where, when murder happens, the decedent's memories are put into a USB stick & loaded into an artificial person, then testifies against the defendant. Pretty awesome, right? Well, all that happens BEFORE the opening credits here. Instead, we get some wannabe-noir starring Wang & Paris (they're cops!). Tuvok has to clean up the mess. THRILL! as an old guy whines about his uselessness as a husband. GASP! as Wang delivers exciting commentary like, "Then we went into the other room." SUSPEND! your disbelief as Paris gets lucky with a woman! REEL! in terror from the bottom-of-the-barrel makeup jobs (seriously, did they just tape on some shit they had lying around the wardrobe room five minutes before the cameras rolled?).