The One Man Band: Doom

The "Dwayne Johnson" Rock stars as Sarge, the tough-as-nails Marine...um, sergeant, alongside Karl "Bones McCoy" Urban, as well as...um...yeah, about that. Anyway, the most British/New Zealand-sounding U.S. Marines ever are called in to find out what happened to a group of scientists that disappeared under mysterious circumstances (if you call recordings of people being eaten mysterious, but what do I know?). As trained professionals, they handle themselves with dignity and respect...until the monsters show up, at which point they start shooting at everything and everyone, yelling at each other, picking on the handicapped gentleman, and make sure corners are secure. And then there's Portman. Ohhhh, is there ever Portman. And don't forget the 1st-Person segment, so reminiscent of the video game that you'll shout, "I waited an hour and a half for THIS?!?" Join the One Man Band as he leads the team into the depths of the red planet, looking for survivors. Odds aren't looking good.