We're just one show from the magic number 300 (if you ignore all the Edinburgh shows and other specials) and Rich is angry that he hasn't got an MBE and that his cupboard is still giving him problems. His guest is a work of art depicting the young Father Christmas, John Kearns. They discuss the problem of student stand up existing forever online, the mind games of Eamonn Holmes, some mind bogglingly expensive pants, what to do with slightly cracked bowls, the difficulty of getting stuff on TV and shitting yourself at parents' evening. Plus exciting news about the next series of Top Coppers.