It's the fourth week of the '94 school year at St. Roman High and five foot two freshman Pete Hickey hasn't had much success on or off the football field. But thanks to a miraculous series of events, he finds himself named the varsity team's starting kicker for the biggest game of the year. Not only that, but the girl he's in love with, Alex Campbell actually calls him. It's up to Pete to man up, hit the game winning field goal, ask Alex to homecoming, and somehow convince Rocco to finally see Rudy. No pressure, right?
Pete joins the student newspaper in the hopes that it will impress her. Things are looking good until he's assigned to write an article on the boys' soccer team and he's forced to interview Alex's hacky-sack-loving, hemp-necklace-wearing boyfriend Justin. Pete must decide what to do: write a standard puff piece, or use this opportunity to take Justin down. Meanwhile, Rocco sells breath spray to the school at "grossly inflated prices".
Over the years, Pete's brother Mike has managed to call "dibs" on everything worthwhile in the Hickey house. But when Clare declares Steve's perpetually under construction basement "finished", Pete sees his chance and calls "dibs". Mike refuses to give in. He and Pete battle it out and accidentally lock themselves down there. Meanwhile Steve and Clare enjoy some alone time upstairs watching NYPD Blue. Pete and Mike have to figure out a way to resolve their differences or risk staying locked in the basement for the foreseeable future.
When you're fourteen, change is a way of life. Pete's body is constantly changing and he seems to have no control over it. Case in point: the unwanted erection he gets every single morning at exactly 8:03 in theology class. Is God messing with him? When Father Fenelon asks Pete to stand and say the Our Father, Pete refuses. Fenelon immediately banishes Pete to "JUG" (Justice Under God), the Catholic school version of detention. To Pete's surprise Alex is in JUG too. The two decide to sneak out and spend the whole afternoon together. Will Pete's embarrassing boners get in the way of making real progress with Alex? Only God knows.
Thanks to Coach Carfora’s lackadaisical teaching style, the seniors are given free reign to beat on the freshmen everyday in gym class. Pete and Rocco spend most of their time hiding under the bleachers, hoping they’ll eventually hit their growth spurt. But when Pete’s doctor tells him he’s probably done growing, Pete freaks out. After a heart to heart with his five foot two Uncle Hilard, Pete decides to take matters into his own hands. He rallies the other freshmen to seek revenge on the seniors during an epic game of Roman Ball.
When Pete gets his learner’s permit he sees it as an opportunity for a little more freedom, but Steve thinks his son needs to learn some responsibility first. The result is a father-son stand off. Steve makes Pete drive him to and from his Sunday night hockey games. This makes Pete even more resentful and it culminates with him stealing the car for a joyride. Pete gets lost on the joyride and embarrassingly must call his dad for directions. It’s only when Steve gets Pete back safely that Pete sees the softer side of his dad. These car trips to and from the ice rink together were really just a way for Steve to try to reconnect with his son.
Since missing the winning kick in a varsity game, Pete’s been demoted back to the winless JV team. Even worse, he has to serve as the varsity team’s water boy during home games. It’s embarrassing. Fed up, Pete writes Coach Carfora a resignation letter and quits the team. But no sooner does he do this than Alex offers to go to Pete’s next JV game to watch him in action. Pete must now figure out a way to get back on the team so he can impress her. And more importantly, he must figure out a way to make it up to his JV teammates for deserting them.
Pete is still upset that Alex didn’t go to his JV game. Rocco tries to cheer him up by inviting him to a party he heard about. Pete reveals he’s petrified of parties. Ten years of DARE videos will do that to a kid. Rocco manages to convince him to go anyway and the two embark on a three-hour journey to find the party. Once they finally get there they run into Justin and Alex. Pete spends the whole party afraid that the cops might show up and angry that Alex is still with Justin. Just as Pete is about to go home with his tail between his legs, the cops actually do show up and in the panic Pete finds himself hiding in a dark corner of the garage with Alex. It’s here where Pete and Alex have a late night heart to heart and their true feelings come out—resulting in the biggest moment of Pete’s young life.
Pete makes a last ditch effort to win Alex’s heart by writing a love letter in her yearbook. Shockingly, things go horribly wrong.
When Steve and Clare head out of town for a long summer weekend, Pete is put in charge for the first time in his life. He has grand plans to make martinis and call up girls but he and Rocco soon find themselves ensnarled in something even more dangerous. With Mike and Gracie’s help, they begin to uncover the mystery of their creepy neighbor Lester Tinkum. All the evidence suggests that Tinkum is the Unabomber—the number one domestic terrorist on the FBI watch list. With no parental aid in sight,
After an argument at the video store, Steve lays down the law: it’s time for Pete to get a job. Pete applies for a lifeguard position at the Byrd Pool Club but ends up getting a job cleaning toilets. But it only takes a few days before Pete snaps, tells off Mr. Byrd and quits. Scared that his dad will find out, Pete pretends to go to work and hides out at the pool all day. It’s only when Pete wanders onto the loading docks in the back that he uncovers the big secret that Steve’s been hiding all
Pete gets a job at Video Warehouse and is surprised to learn he knows very little about movies, and even less about Alex.
Rocco gets a girlfriend and Pete gets super jealous.
The Hickeys make the infamous trip up to Minnow Lake for their annual summer vacation.
The Hickeys compete in the dreaded Fen-Olympics—an ultracompetitive backyard tournament invented by Clare’s Wisconsin relatives: the Fenskis.
Pete and Steve both contract “the yips”—a mysterious mental block that ruins Pete’s ability to kick and Steve’s ability to get a job.
Pete goes head to head with his archenemy Dybsky for the starting kicking position on the varsity football team.
When Pete injures himself in a freak post field goal celebration dance, he is banished to the press box. It’s here where he’s introduced to student announcer Matt French and his buddies Chris Lee and Jon Hoffman—the SportsCenter, so to speak, of St. Roman’s. Pete begins to see sports in a whole new light.
Sick of being tormented by their big brother, Pete and Gracie team up in a complex scheme to take Mike down once and for all.
Uncertain of his place in the world, Pete leaves practice and goes on a long, strange trip around St. Roman’s.
Pete asks out Tracy. They go see Se7ven. Everything goes wrong.
The St. Roman Friars make the playoffs and Pete must decide what to do: suit up and take the field or call the game in the press box with Matt French?
Pete invites Tracy to the Hickey house for Thanksgiving.
Pete thinks both Alex and Tracy want to go to the turnabout dance with him.