Paul Clark does a spot of driving for local crime boss Mervyn Rees. The promise of a 'drink' leads him to believe that it won't be long before he has his foot on the first rung of the criminal ladder. His joy doesn't last, however, when he is made to realise the consequences of his 'spot of driving' and he must act quickly to avert impending doom.
Paul has promised Calvin tickets for the FA Cup final. He is not having a lot of luck until Sean pulls him into a spot of debt collecting: rather than money, tickets fall into his lap. Naturally, he is loathe to keep quiet about this and soon he is coralled into getting tickets for Gary 'The Hitman' Whitman.
Paul is looking forward to a weekend taking care of an empty warehouse (one of Di's repossessions). Noel is giving it large about his club night - Enter the Garage - held at a secret venue. Things don't work out quite as planned for either of them.
Paul is in love with Jan, a ‘legal secretary.’ One night in the pub, he warns Sean that he, too, should be looking for love otherwise where’s he going to end up? Sitting at the bar doing the daily crossword with a bunch of middle aged single men, that’s where. Luckily, Sean finds salvation in the shape of a Latvian nurse, Vajanya. Cue bouncers on a stag night, a gospel wedding and some unforeseen revelations.
Paul is furious with Sean after he has ruined yet another date with the lovely Tamsin. Sean offers an olive branch, inviting Paul to use Sean's uncle's country mansion for a romantic weekend with Tamsin. Everything looks sweet at the mansion until an untimely answer in Trivial Pursuit triggers the three Rottweiler guard dogs into ‘attack mode.’ Cornered in a small shower room, with the dogs prowling outside and Tamsin arriving in 24 hours, the boys must draw on their considerable resources to get out of this one...
Sean's son Ryan, whom he last saw in a hospital incubator, is coming to spend his twelfth birthday with his dad and Godfather, Paul. Paul agrees to drop off some party decorations and toys with Viv, wife of legendary armed robber Billy Marks. Billy is out on home leave and Viv is throwing him a surprise party. Unfortunately Billy's four years in jail have left him paranoid about his wife's loyalty and when he hears 'Uncle Paul' has been dropping off presents for his kids, he reacts badly. Meanwhile Ryan is not the little angel everyone is expecting...
Paul has a dream that Sean is holding him back. Di, sick of Paul treating the house like a hotel, gives him an ultimatum: start paying your way or get out. Salvation arrives in the form of an ebullient Sean, with news of a 'lovely bit of work.' Paul is made up until he realizes that this 'lovely bit of work' involves the picking and delivery of twelve second hand urinals to Roger Flint, a local scrap merchant. He takes the job but is forced to deposit the urinals in a canal when things get messy. The next morning things look up when Paul takes a call from Flint, informing that the urinals are, in fact, worth quite a bit of money. He retrieves the urinals with the help of Lee, sells them onto Flint and ends up looking at a handsome profit. Things are looking up, until a body appears in the canal and Paul finds himself in the frame...
Paul gets out of prison to discover that Lee's mother has commandeered his bedroom, the policeman who arrested him has moved into Di's bed while Sean is working for his hated rival Reuben, residing in a penthouse apartment with high class prostitutes on tap and driving a top of the range BMW. Paul ends up in the pub - he talks to Tim about his bad luck, blaming whoever dumped Ronnie Bryant's body in the canal for the whole, sorry mess. On the way home he is kidnapped and driven to a remote field where he discovers, to his horror, that it is Ronnie Bryant's killer who has swagged him. The assassin informs Paul that he has two choices : thirty grand in cash and leave Acton forever, or his 'old life' back. Paul returns to the pub where the Annual Karaoke Challenge is in full swing. He discovers that Lee's mother is living and working in the pub, DI Dodds has left Di, Reuben has put his hands up for the gear, and that Tim is the mystery assassin. He sings 'Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong' as a karaoke tune, joined by the newly freed Sean. Together they re-enact the famous Richard Gere/Debra Winger last scene from 'AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN'.
