Paul Clark does a spot of driving for local crime boss Mervyn Rees. The promise of a 'drink' leads him to believe that it won't be long before he has his foot on the first rung of the criminal ladder. His joy doesn't last, however, when he is made to realise the consequences of his 'spot of driving' and he must act quickly to avert impending doom.
Paul has promised Calvin tickets for the FA Cup final. He is not having a lot of luck until Sean pulls him into a spot of debt collecting: rather than money, tickets fall into his lap. Naturally, he is loathe to keep quiet about this and soon he is coralled into getting tickets for Gary 'The Hitman' Whitman.
Paul is in love with Jan, a ‘legal secretary.’ One night in the pub, he warns Sean that he, too, should be looking for love otherwise where’s he going to end up? Sitting at the bar doing the daily crossword with a bunch of middle aged single men, that’s where. Luckily, Sean finds salvation in the shape of a Latvian nurse, Vajanya. Cue bouncers on a stag night, a gospel wedding and some unforeseen revelations.
Paul is furious with Sean after he has ruined yet another date with the lovely Tamsin. Sean offers an olive branch, inviting Paul to use Sean's uncle's country mansion for a romantic weekend with Tamsin. Everything looks sweet at the mansion until an untimely answer in Trivial Pursuit triggers the three Rottweiler guard dogs into ‘attack mode.’ Cornered in a small shower room, with the dogs prowling outside and Tamsin arriving in 24 hours, the boys must draw on their considerable resources to get out of this one...
Sean's son Ryan, whom he last saw in a hospital incubator, is coming to spend his twelfth birthday with his dad and Godfather, Paul. Paul agrees to drop off some party decorations and toys with Viv, wife of legendary armed robber Billy Marks. Billy is out on home leave and Viv is throwing him a surprise party. Unfortunately Billy's four years in jail have left him paranoid about his wife's loyalty and when he hears 'Uncle Paul' has been dropping off presents for his kids, he reacts badly. Meanwhile Ryan is not the little angel everyone is expecting...
'If you treat this place like a hotel Paul, then so will I'. Paul's mum wants him to start paying his way. Tim's barred him from the pub and Sean's busy sucking up to wideboy Reuben Smith. To top it all, Paul's got a car full of urinals to offload, not to mention a murder charge hanging over him, a CID card school in his kitchen and his best mate's looking at ten years. Will Paul triumph over adversity? One word for that... naive.