Greetings, one and all, and welcome to Naked News! It's a very exciting day here, because we're FINALLY going to be opening up this box we found in storage and unveiling all the delicious Naked News relics hidden inside! Personally, I really hope my keys are in there, because I haven't been able to get into my house for years! But first up, let's head over to the Naked Newsroom, where Roxanne is standing by with a Naked News bulletin!