It's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Famous Deaths, Italian Lesson – written by Michael Palin and Terry Jones, Whizzo Butter, It's the Arts Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson – written by John Cleese and Graham Chapman, Picasso / Cycling Race, The Funniest Joke in the World, First appearance of The Colonel
Flying Sheep – written by Cleese and Chapman, French Lecture on Sheep-Aircraft, A Man with Three Buttocks, First appearance of the phrase 'And now for something completely different'. A Man with Two Noses, Musical Mice, Marriage Guidance Counsellor – written by Eric Idle, The Wacky Queen, Working-Class Playwright, The Wrestling Epilogue (written by Eric Idle), The Mouse Problem (written by Cleese and Chapman)
The Larch, Court Scene with Cardinal Richelieu – written by Cleese and Chapman, The Larch – Part 2, Bicycle Repair Man – written by Palin and Jones, Children's Stories, Restaurant Sketch, Seduced Milkmen, Stolen Newsreader, The Horse Chestnut, Children's Interview, Candid Photography
Song: "Jerusalem (And did those feet)", Art Gallery, Art Critic, It's a Dog's Life in the Modern Army, Undressing in Public – written by Palin and Jones, Self-Defence Against Fresh Fruit – written by Cleese and Chapman, first appearance of the 16-Ton Weight, Secret Service Dentists
Confuse-a-Cat – written by Cleese and Chapman, The Smuggler, A Duck, A Cat and A Lizard (discussion), Vox Pops on Smuggling, Police Raid, Letters and Vox Pops, Newsreader Arrested, Erotic Film, Silly Job Interview, Careers Advisory Board, Burglar/Encyclopedia Salesman
Johann Gambolputty, Non-Illegal Robbery, Vox Pops on Burglary, Crunchy Frog (Whizzo Chocolate Company), The Dull Life of a City Stockbroker, Red Indian in Theatre, Policemen Make Wonderful Friends, A Scotsman on A Horse, 20th Century Vole – written by Cleese and Chapman
Camel Spotting, You're No Fun Anymore, The Audit, Science Fiction Sketch, Man Turns into Scotsman, Police station, Blancmanges Playing Tennis
Hermit and bomb; credits; Episode 12b Full Frontal Nudity; man on the street interviews on full frontal nudity; an Army recruit wants out, gangsters offer protection to Colonel `things burn Colonel', Colonel ends sketch because of silliness; animation- Full Frontal Nudity; man in the street considers full frontal nudity; art critic reviews `the place of the nude in my bed... in art!'; newlyweds try to buy a bed and mattress; more men in the street; colonel warns again about silly sketches; two hermits talk about hermitting; animation- Venus on the half shell; Pet Shop Sketch `but the palindrome of Bolton, would be notlob!'; newsreader announces frontal nudity; flasher; Hell's Grannies, baby snatchers, and vicious gangs of Keep Left signs, Colonel stops sketch; flasher; Hermit and bomb; credits.
Hermit dodging landmines; credits; Part 2: The Llama, Live from Golder's Green- a Flamenco troupe explains the Llama `Llamas son mas grandes que las ranas'; and now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his nose; mountaineering sketch, two men skilled in climbing apply to an expedition to the twin peaks of Mt. Kilimanjaro; and now: Monty Python; a man with a tape recorder up his brother's nose, and now in stereo; animation- saint selling encyclopedias; barber fights urge to kill, reveals he always wanted to be a lumberjack, song- Lumberjack Song; letters of protest; housewife protests about too much sex on television `I mean, I keep falling off', Prof. Gumby gives an opinion on television's influence; announcer grovels during introduction of star, `Ken Buddha, a smile, two bangs and a religion', animation- Brian Islam and Brucie; life in the country guns, guns, guns; knight with chicken not needed this week; and now: Victor and Iris's night alone together wit
Hermit on meathook; credits; BBC sends letter to plumber asking him to be in a sketch, robber in lingerie shop waits for plumber; David Unction introduces `It's a Tree' with Arthur Tree, a piece of laminated plastic and a block of wood; animation- Chippendale does impersonations, announcer introduces => the vocational guidance counselor sketch- accountant wants to be lion tamer; David Unction and a viking; Ron Obvious tries to jump the English channel, eat a cathedral, tunnel to Java, split a railway car with his nose and run to Mercury; pet conversion sketch; comments on sketch predictability; gorilla wants to be a librarian; letters; lover visits lady in the night and encounters a crowd; animation- comments on last sketch predictability by animals; Hermit; credits.
Hermit hit by auto; Episode Two's: Royal Philharmonic goes to bathroom; letter of objection; Mary Bignell's wonderful jump; letters of objection; Royal Philharmonic flushes; animation- objections; Prof. Canning presents the Black Death, interrupted by undertakers racing hearses & having picnic lunches, Canning leaves in disgust; Inspectors Tiger, Lookout, There's-a-man-behind-you, and Fire investigate a murder; undertakers interrupt show for a burial; a late letter of objection; an existential football interview `Well Brian, I hit the ball first time, and there it was in the back of the net. I'm opening a boutique'; back to the murder investigation; undertakers having it rough; animation- undertakers & two nude ladies; Interesting People: a man in a matchbox, `Ali Bayan stark raving mad', `Men of Harlech' on bicycle bells, a man who can give a cat influenza, an invisible man, interesting sports, a man who's into shouting, a man whose cat jumps across a studio into a bucket of water- `B
Hermit pinballs off trees; credits; episode 17-26: The Naked Ant; signal man & bear; men falling past window; letter of protest; animation- people falling; Spectrum- `What is Going On?'; the North Minehead By-Election with Adolf Hilter, man on the street about Mr. Hilter; Spectrum again `What do I mean, by what do I mean?'; `I Wish to Report a Burglary!'; The 127th Annual Upper Class Twit of the Year competition `He doesn't have any sort of sensory apparatus what-so-ever. My God this is exciting!'; letter of compliment; animation- soldier falls apart; Ken Shabby proposes `After five years they give me a brush', The Story So Far...; A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Wood Party- minister falls through Earth's crust `I should think the longest length of BBC rope', commentary on minister's fall; Anything else? `No', Spectrum again `What do we mean by no', sixteen ton weight; Hermit; credits.
Undertakers carry Hermit on; a short intermission; credits; a medium-sized intermission; animation- ""intermission"" eaten; 'Please excuse my wife'; a whopping great intermission; animation- Pearls for Swine presents... cinema ads- ALBATROSS! Gannet on a stick!; more ads; policeman and man on corner (""Do you want to come back to my place""); Me Doctor?, chicken knight; Gumbies; Historical Impersonations- Cardinal Richelieu as Petula Clark and Marcel Marceau mimes a man being struck on the head by a sixteen-ton weight; schoolboys 'I want to have Raquel Welch dropped on top of me. She's got a big bottom!' and insurance agents; cops and robbers; Probearound looks at Magic and the police force; A.T. Hun turns himself in 'Curses! Curses!'; letters of protest, animated letter falls apart; Psychiatrist Larch sees a man about strange voices the man is hearing, man goes to see Larch's friend who specializes in these sort of things and gets an expensive operation, man found to have squatters in his
