"Hello, I'd like to buy some sperm please." "Of course, Madam. And how much were you hoping to spend?" (empties change from pockets onto counter) "Uuuummm... looks like two dollars and... fourteen cents." "Hmm. I'm afraid that dime is actually an old button, but for this the best we can offer is 'Grade D' seed." "And who donates that?" "Lets see. Ah. It looks like right now all we have are samples from low level internet comedy channel employees." "... I think I'll just die alone." "Excellent choice, Madam."