Which Bioshock is this?
Damn, n00bs and their legitimate questions.
If only we lived in a world of Item Shops. We'd never have to be scared of anything again.
It's all about how close they are to your locker of armor and weapons.
It's different because the names in this game are real-ish.
Vomit jokes are the way to go, anyway.
Video games may be an exercise in fantasy, but at least they're injury free.
Sometimes we really miss that stupid, snickering dog.
Gamers are masochists.
Seriously, it's just not fun anymore.
But, hey, they still look cooler than reality.
Sometimes amazing is one combination of weird things away.
They're all just mundane combinations of awesomer games.
At least the repetitiveness is pretty cool.
DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT STRATEGY GUIDES!!!
The most fun you'll have playing a scientist that's not called a scientist while you fight other scientists who are also not called scientists.
Toys hitting each other with smaller toys until they return to toy purga-toy-ry leads to more broken controllers than any game ever.
Generations of kids are learning about sex from video games and all we can do is openly weep.
It's a slippery slope: First you're playing games on your couch. Next you're prepping some molotov cocktails.
It's the best franchise about time-traveling history ninjas being controlled by their future ancestors who are battling time knights for control of humanity.
If you weren't aware that the Mortal Kombat series had a story to it, then we envy you.
What do you do with your most advance space ship in history? Fill it with cybernetically-enhanced criminals and blast it into deep space, of course.
They have four of these games? How many actual different ways can you play being the Caped Crusader?
Any game where a horse poops on screen can't be taken seriously whatsoever.
'No Man's Sky' is fit for philosophy classes and absolutely nothing else.
For everyone who was hoping Pokemon Go was just a fad, we have bad news for you.
You have to be a special kind of psychotic to really get into this game.
No caveman video game will ever top 'Joe & Mac' so just stop trying already.
Let's be honest, did you actually ever give a damn about Doom's plot?
The reason we're indoors playing games is because we don't want to traverse miles of outdoor terrain for hours on end.
Ubisoft seemed to be into some creative stuff with their 'Rayman' series. And then Tom Clancy happened.
The Nintendo Switch finally did away with the childish, linear hand-holding because The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is finally worthy of its 8-bit ancestors, its wooden sword and the lonely old dudes in caves.
Hey Resident Evil 7, if you receive an email from someone claiming to be your wife who's been missing for three years, maybe do some investigating from afar first. But seriously, great game, just a terrible story.
Samurai video games like Nioh might be becoming as cinematic as movies, but, you know, all of that goes right out the window when you make the protagonist some white dude with blond hair.
The only type of video games non-gamers can start to get into are the ones that have hyper-realistic graphics. And then they realize they aren't playing a movie and the disappointment begins to set in.
We look forward the Call of Duty’s promised future, where jetpacks and exploding spiders make war fun and easy. Greatest Generation? More like Lamest Generation! (Sorry, grandpa. Love you).