Ethan tries to lure Lucas away from the Xbox. The episode begins with Ethan playing a PSP at his store. A customer asks if he can play Halo on his PS2 and Ethan ignores him, eventually mocking the man as he persists to ask if xbox games will work on the PS2. The customer gets mad and leaves the store, vowing never to return. The theme song plays. Ethan goes home having used his paycheck to buy more video games and Lucas is using the Xbox. Lucas encourages Ethan to do something else for a change (read a book or ride a bike, for instance) and Ethan leaves, angry. Ethan instead decides to lure Lucas away from the Xbox through a variety of tactics such as a pretend suicide and attempted homicide, and Lucas fights back by gluing Ethan's hand to a door and distracting with pictures that the audience assumes are of naked women. In the end, a cooking knife ends up embedded in the controller and they resolve to play a co-op. Lilah comes in and asks if she can play Halo.
Ethan asks Zeke to call in to work and fake a family tragedy to get Ethan out of work. Ethan and Zeke are playing a video game which seems to be Fight Night: Round 3 from the sounds. Barry calls Ethan to remind him that he is supposed to be working, and after Ethan tries (and fails) to pretend that he is someone else, convinces Ethan to come in to work. Ethan asks Zeke to call in to work and fake a family tragedy to get Ethan out. The theme song plays. At the store, Ethan is told to manage the store while Barry does some paperwork in the back room. Ethan manages to ignore a long line of customers, assault a customer looking for an N-Gage, and scare a woman into a heart attack while Zeke wastes time at home rather than call to get Ethan out of work. When the store closes, Ethan goes home and gets angry with Zeke for forgetting to call in and decides to destroy him at Fight Night. Ethan loses the match, curses
Ethan tries to prove that robots aren't better than humans. A short paintballing match between Ethan and Zeke starts, in which Ethan lands one shot, and Zeke, aided by computer aiming, hits with all of his. The theme song plays. Cut to a scene of Everquest 2, where Ethan's character kills a 'monster' and reaches Level 30 after three weeks. Zeke steps in and notes that he reached Level 60 in one day. Ethan talks to Lilah about it, and she says obviously he's going to be better at technical things. Ethan, however, takes it completely wrong, thinking she's a robot in disguise because she's siding with Zeke, along the lines of Battlestar Galactica. Ethan says that he will prove that robots aren't better than humans. He then goes to ask Lucas who is better; him or Zeke. Lucas says Zeke is better, only because he doesn't want to be turned into something resembling a battery when the robots 'take over the planet'. Ethan considers it betrayal. He then finds the one thing robots can't do; eat. Ethan proceeds to take a bite out of a loaf of bread, but starts to choke on it. Zeke slaps it out of him, causing Ethan to pass out. Cut to Ethan and Zeke, playing Dead or Alive 4. Ethan then apologizes and says even he's probably part robot now, still thinking Lilah's a robot. Zeke, not getting the robot reference, thinks Ethan's been "porking the vacuum cleaner". Zeke leaves the room promptly. Ethan looks to the pink vacuum, then back, then to the vacuum again, then slightly upward. A vacuum noise is heard off-screen as the credits roll.
Ethan tries to cook dinner for a friend of Lilah's. Lucas makes fun of Lilah for deciding to marry Ethan. Lucas also tells Lilah that Ethan can't cook to save his life. Lilah disagrees. Lucas then unplugs the phone and does not cook dinner. Ethan subsequently enters a state of confused panic as the fridge is not preparing the food for him and the "telephone people" aren't answering his pleas for sustenance. Lilah decides to invite a friend over from work to come for dinner and tells Ethan that they should both cook. Ethan, having only cooked once in his life before (which ended in the haunting of the Swedish Chef), ends up helping out. During the cooking process we see that Ethan, in fact, cannot cook. Lucas cleans him up with the fire extinguisher on multiple occasions. Finally the meal is done and Lilah's friend comes over. Ethan goes to bring the meal to the table but is haunted again by the Swedish Chef and throws the food at the apparition to fend it off, ruining the dinner.
A series of unrelated sketches featuring minor Ctrl+Alt+Del characters. Begins with 'Player 2' being chased and then killed in a fantasy game, while standing in front of 'Player 1's character shouting "Heal me" over and over, while Player 1 does nothing. It then cuts to a view of player 1's computer, where he is returning with a snack, shortly before player 2 enters and slaughters him with an axe (while player 1 cries "Heal me") The scene switches to a dark room, which Chef Brian then enters, and begins reciting his usual nonsense. His hat then opens and smoke pours out from the opening and his ears, and a carrot flies out. In the next scene, a pair of male PSPs are sitting at a table, when a female DS walks past holding a tray of burgers, trying to catch their attention, to which the PSPs reply 'Fat-ass!'. The DS then goes into the toilets and starts throwing up. She then comes back, slimmer and sleeker (a-la DS Lite) and gets plenty of attention. 'Tim's Customer service invention #6' follows, in which a guy picks up a (presumably bad) game from the shelf, which is attached to some string. This triggers a trap in which a 16 ton weight falls on him.
Ethan becomes upset and frustrated over the lack of video games during a power outage. Lucas tries to entertain him with a game of chess, but Ethan compares it to a video game, and leaves because he can't find the "options menu". Ethan tries using Zeke and having him describe what's going on instead of using a TV output, but Zeke has no battery power left. A clip of Ethan's mind exploding is then shown, and you then see Lucas go to the fridge, and Ethan is seen in tribal clothing, with a PlayStation Button layout painted on his face stopping him, saying the food box has been claimed for the tribe of the first controller. To be continued...
Ethan believes at the end of the world has come after the power outage. Ethan explains to Lucas that it was his duty to ensure the survival of the gamer species. Lucas ignores him and tries to get ice cream out of the fridge before it melts, Ethan hits him with his staff and says that he may use him as a slave worker, Lilah enters with a flash light wondering what's going on, the light scares Ethan and he runs away hissing. Lilah is now confused and Lucas simply says "I'm just here to eat ice cream. Roll Credits. Ethan mocks the others for "Clinging to the past" and sets about writing the new gaming bible for the new world using his own blood as ink (even though he used a pencil to prick his finger). Lilah is now worried about Ethan while Lucas eats ice cream. Ethan sneaks up and grabs Lilah from behind threatening her with, as Lucas puts it, "A blunt object" and taking her to join his tribe. This however makes Lilah mad and she threatens Ethan with the "You're not getting 'any' for a month look", Ethan then runs away. Lucas then gets an idea. Ethan tries to make a love heart using a knife and paper to give to Lilah when he hears Lucas and Lilah playing on a PSP, Ethan then tries to take his "Grail" but Lucas tosses it in the air, Ethan dives and catches it. While Ethan is distracted Lucas and Lilah lock him in the room. The PSP quickly loses power and Ethan fails to barge the door down, so he crawls out the window and climbs back into another. Lucas is still eating ice cream when Ethan from the shadows lifts up his staff over his head yelling "KAAAAAHNNNN!" Lucas replies with a "neeeeerrrrddd!". A fight ensues with a classic Star Trek alien battle music being played in the background. The power suddenly comes back on in the middle of the fight and Ethan immediately returns to normal and goes ahead with his original plan of playing games and eating junk food as if nothing happened. Roll End Credits. At the end of the credits Ethan's brain now recovering fro
Ethan tries to take a copy of Lego Star Wars II from a person who got it before he could. Ethan arrives at Game Haven anxious to pick up his copy of Lego Star Wars II. Barry tells him that he never pre-ordered it and that the last copy had just been sold to the guy that Ethan passed on the way into the store. Ethan promptly leaps onto the hood of the customer's car and offers to buy the game off of him. The customer refuses and Ethan is forced to follow the man home. Once there Ethan tries a couple of method for getting into the man's house. First he uses what appears to be a sex doll on stick to attempt to distract the man but he fails to get inside. Next Ethan dresses in a full Sam Fisher outfit from Splinter Cell and attempts to sneak into the customer's house. Ethan is of course discovered and is taken captive by the man. Ethan is forced to play a series of video games with the man and is forced to lose. Ethan eventually draws the line when the man attempts to force him play Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) with him. Ethan escapes with Lego Star Wars II and rushes home to play it. About five seconds into the game Ethan proclaims "This game sucks!"
A new soldier's experience with Battlefield 2142. The soldier lands in a pod, and attempts to get into a vehicle, but another soldier gets in first and drives off. Shaking his fist at the other soldier, he fails to realise the Walker behind him and is crushed beneath it’s feet. Respawned, the soldier attempts to get into a free vehicle, but (presumably) the same soldier as before gets in before him. He begins to drive off, but he stops and lets the soldier get into the turret position. The other soldier gets out and the new soldier is shot and killed by a passing by enemy gunship. Paranoid, the new soldier attempts to sneak up on the vehicle. Slightly touching it and jumping back, the soldier is convinced it is safe. He is about to go into the vehicle when another soldier’ pod lands on him, and he jumps into the vehicle, driving off. Next, we see the soldier attempting to shoot an enemy soldier, but all of his bullets miss. He then attempts to throw the gun at the enemy, while he is walking towards him. The enemy pulls out his knife, but the new soldier grabs his knife and kills himself. The soldier then spawns into a plane, but the pilot jumps out. Jumping out himself, the soldier lands unnoticed next to an enemy soldier. He pulls out his knife, but the transport lands on him, killing him. The enemy soldier is unharmed; he pulls out a pistol and shoots the soldier in the hand. Next, the soldier spawns inside an APC, and he ejects. Although all of his comrades make it, he hits the enemy titan and dies. Inside the enemy titan, the soldier is attempting to input a password, but the Blue Screen of Death appears. The soldier shoots the panel, causing the door to open. While inside, the other soldiers are carelessly throwing around explosive charges, and one of them sticks to the new soldiers head. The others run out, escaping the blast from the explosives and the blast mine attached to the new soldier.
A parody of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Two boys are in a small to mid-sized SUV, being chased by a larger, longer, white limousine. One of the boys sticks an unknown CD inside a Splinter Cell case and tosses it out the window, which lands on the doorstep of someone's house. Shortly after, their vehicle runs out of gas and slows to a halt. Jack Thompson (with a Darth Vader like demeanor) walks out of the limo (with a 'squad' of men in blue suits trailing behind) and demands to the two boys to know where the plans are that were stolen from his office. The 2 boys make a bogus excuse like a "munchies run", but Thompson orders the car to be torn apart and munchies to be found unopened. Roll Opening Ethan opens the front door, boasts of another day of ignoring the world and playing video games, and picks up the CD that was thrown out of the window by the 2 boys, thinking it's a free game. He attempts to read the instruction manual, only to find a piece of paper with the message: "Help me Benjamin Kotarski. You're our only hope.". Ethan recalls that this message may be referring to "old Ben K from next door". He rings his next door neighbor's bell and is greeted by an old man with a white beard dressed in a brown robe (like Obi-Wan Kenobi). Ethan tells him about a disc and is let inside. Ben tells of his old days when he fought in the "console wars" as a member of the "Nintendo knights", master of the "ownage". Ben pops the disc inside a player, and a video of one of the 2 boys from the beginning of the episode. The boy tells of plans of a device by Jack Thompson to destroy all video games forever. Ethan volunteers to tag along Ben to learn the ways of the ownage Back at Ethan's place, he asks Lucas for a ride and if it's fast whereas Lucas replies "Are you kidding! It made a run to the donut shop down the street in 12 minutes!". Ethan states his will to borrow it and leave before Lucas can fully object. Zeke hears of the plans and wants to come along
A parody of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Ethan, Lilah, and Lucas are at an arcade. Ethan gets distracted by an ice cream truck outside and runs out to it with Lucas telling him that it’s winter. Ethan takes no more than one step before he collapses, shivering and unable to move further. A dog approaches him, and Ethan asks “can I... cut you open... and... crawl inside” at which point the dog backs away. Ben Kotarski appears in a ghostly blue form, telling Ethan he needs to go to the Play-All-Night LAN Center, to learn from Bob-o, the gamer master that trained him. Ethan claims it’s too far away, at which Ben curses and walks away in disgust at Ethan’s refusal to let him help him. A white limo then drives by. A window rolls down to reveal Jack Thompson. Ethan rushes back into the arcade to tell Lucas and Lilah that “they found us”. Jack’s blue suit goons make their way out of the limo and into the arcade. A random teen skateboarder skates beside one of the goons with an Xbox controller in hand, and throws it so the controller and its cord wraps around the guy’s legs for several loops, causing him to fall over. The kid can be seen kicking him once while he’s down (a reference to the Snowspeeders taking down AT-AT walkers at the Battle of Hoth). Ethan exclaims they need to “fleeeee!” Lucas suggest he and Lilah take one car and that Ethan meet them at the rendezvous point. Ethan mentions he still wants ice cream. Roll opening At the Play-All-Night LAN Center, Ethan looks for Bob-o. A short, bald man, barely visible from behind the long table due to his height, greets him with “Yoda-speak”. The man mentions he may or may not be Bob-o, but Ethan is already distracted by Battlefield 2142 on an off-screen computer and runs towards it. Lucas and Lilah are on the road, with Lucas cursing traffic. Lilah is horrified to find the white limo pursuing them. The camera switches to an overhead view of the vehicles. Lucas’s g
A parody of Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. Jack Thompson and his army of blue-suited lawyers are supervising the construction of the Second Billboard, with Thompson commenting to the foreman that "She" will be arriving shortly, and that he hopes the billboard will be finished soon as "She" is not as forgiving as he is. Roll credits. Elsewhere, Ethan and Lilah attempt to rescue Lucas, who is on trial before a "joo-rey" (jury) presided over by Bubba the Judge (who resembles Jabba the Hutt). When Judge Bubba refuses to let Lucas go, Ethan uses his Nintendo Knight skills with a Nintendo Wii controller to defeat Bubba and the Bounty Lawyer and free Lucas before returning home and regrouping with Scott. Jack Thompson is seen bowing before his master, who is revealed to be Hillary Clinton. She comments on his desire to eliminate Ethan, telling him he will have his chance. Meanwhile, Scott reveals that the Second Billboard is much stronger than its predecessor, and that simply kicking it will not be enough. Ethan comments that kicking it with guns might work, but Scott rules out a direct assault. Ethan insists that guns might have some potential, only to be told to shut up. The plan is to attack a nearby telephone pole, which will destroy the Second Billboard when it falls down. Ethan, Lilah, Lucas and Zeke make their way to the telephone pole, but Ethan is distracted when he sees Jack Thompson. Thompson takes him to see The Clinton, sitting in a portable toilet as a throne. She offers Ethan a Wii remote and tells him to strike Jack Thompson down. Thompson protests, as they had never discussed this before, but Ethan agrees and uses the remote to knock the Florida lawyer out. Lilah and Lucas quickly find that while the plan to destroy the telephone pole is a good one, they don't actually have the means to do so, as they don't have any explosives. Lilah asks Lucas what he did bring along, and Lucas quickly settles on Zeke. Using the robot as a batter
Ethan has difficulties with his Xbox360 Red Rings of Death (RRoD, also known as "Three Rings of Death").
Thinking Lilah prefers her men buff and man-ly like, Ethan convinces Lucas to take him to the gym.
Ethan and Lucas join Lilah on a trip to Las Vegas.
Ethan finds himself trapped in a bathroom and must survive until rescued.
Ethan, Lucas, Lilah and Zeke's adventure in a MMORPG.
Ethan must survive through housework before he can game.
A trip to the department store goes the opposite of completely right.
In a mental institution, Ethan finds himself having a wonderful, almost magical good time.
Ethan must survive the zombie apocalypse.
Ethan devises a way to increase his gaming time.
Final part to Sheep Wars.
Ctrl+Alt+Del Season 1 DVD Extra: Ctrl+Alt+Del: World Tour (If the world consists of five stages)
