It's one thing to practice in the meditation hall, but when you're in relationship, it's a 24hr practice. Stephen Levine, author of Embracing the Beloved: Relationship As the Path of Awakening, argues with wit and wisdom against cleverness, posturing and separation between human hearts, in favor of the truth that nothing is worth the heart being closed. The beauty of the practice of relationship, to your beloved and to The Beloved, is that you really can't get away with anything. Pretenses and holding cause immense pain, and therefore opportunities, heroic or small, to learn to meet ourselves with kindness and embrace.