George joins fiancée Winky in writing letters to lonely soldiers whilst Cecil joins the Needlework Guild to send them warm clothes and Bert fails to impress Agnes by trying to get in on the act since all the women are on sex strike in solidarity with the fighters at the front. Cecil however is dismayed to find that his is the effigy on the Guy Fawkes night bonfire.
Bert finds himself in disgrace when he tries to take advantage of Gwyneth, Rittle-on-Sea's first war widow under the guise of comforting her and Cecil does something that the villagers believe to be even more disgusting. Pacifist George is horrified when his bullying headmaster, supported by Winky, forces him to thrash a naughty pupil or else get the sack.
With their graffiti-daubed cottage still suffering from brown tap water and nobody in the village anxious to help rectify George is especially angry when the stupid Bert takes all the toilet paper to write a love poem and kicks him out though he lands on his feet and ends up in a house belonging to a serving soldier. Cecil, as ever, comes unstuck when the lovely Penny who appears to take a shine to him proves to have an ulterior motive and the women increase their hate campaign with a noise rota.
Dismayed that nobody in the village will accept that his flat feet are responsible for his non-combatant status Cecil is thrilled to meet Constance, the one woman who seems to believe him and who he hopes will enable him to assert his masculinity once and for all. George meanwhile rashly resigns from his teaching post as a protest against German being removed from the curriculum. In desperation the headmaster finds a replacement - Bert, whose bizarre teaching methods are a hit with everybody, including , to George's annoyance, Winky.
George has news for his housemates - he has invited Miss Trimble for dinner. Unlike Bert, who even has a bath in brown water for the occasion, Cecil is horrified as Miss Trimble is the village leper. He is even more annoyed when she fails to show up, believing that she considers herself above him. He makes it his job to seek out and befriend her to show her his true worth.
The Soldiers have returned to the Village on leave from the Trenches on the War Front in France. Winky attracts attention from a potential new suitor, much to the dismay of George.
It's the First World War. Our nation's heroes are fighting the good fight on foreign soil, but in one sleepy English village three young men remain: George is a conscientious objector, Cecil has flat feet and Bert really is a coward, unfortunately.
