The critic embarks on a historical journey across Italy, following in the footsteps of English noblemen such as Byron and Turner who explored Europe to broaden their horizons. His first stop is Turin, where he is delighted by the 18th-century architecture and sides with the animal in a ritual boar culling. From there he moves on to Milan, where many Englishmen acquired a penchant for Italian dandyism, and takes the time to view Leonardo Da Vinci's Last Supper.
Brian's trip takes him to Cremona, birthplace of the violin, to climb the city's vast defensive tower and visit a carriage museum. He then moves on to Parma, where he takes the time to marvel at Correggio's painting on the inside of the cathedral dome, which can only be illuminated for two and a half minutes at a time. Finally, he explores the churches and palaces of Bologna, the city which provided the inspiration for Michelangelo.
Brian's journey takes him to Florence, where he is awestruck by the beauty of the city, but disappointed by the frescoes inside the cathedral. He also pays tribute to Michelangelo, viewing the statue of David and making a pilgrimage to his tomb. However, he is distinctly underwhelmed by the quality of sculpture adorning the great artist's final resting place, and decides to calm his mood by visiting the crypts he built for the Medici grand dukes.
Brian embarks on the 150 mile journey to Rome, but first he stops off at an assortment of towns along the way, sampling some foul-tasting local Chianti and marvelling at Siena's cathedral. He also takes a break at the post house on the Tuscany border, famed for its uncomfortable accommodation, views Signorelli's Last Judgement in Orvieto, and visits Bormarzo's sculpture park and leaning house.
Brian arrives in Rome, where he marvels at Michelangelo's Pieta in the Vatican. He bemoans the Coliseum's transformation into a tourist trap, and turns his attention to more contemporary art by visiting the Trevi fountain made famous by Fellini's La Dolce Vita. He also poses for a portrait - but is not impressed with the end result.
The second half of the critic's historical journey across Italy begins with a trip to the coastal city of Naples. In addition to examining Roman statues, he meets a local soprano and reveals the story of an English aristocrat who acted as a guide for grand tourists exploring Mount Vesuvius.
The critic explores southern Italy, visiting the birthplace of Raphael, James III's home during his exile and a perfectly preserved ancient Greek building at Paestum. He also recreates his own youthful exploits by driving a car down the piazza steps in the Renaissance-era town on Todi.
The art historian explores the east coast of Italy, stopping off at Rimini, where he visits the Tempio Malatestiano - a pagan temple dedicated to a duke so evil he was condemned to hell by the Pope. A few miles north in Argenta, Brian watches the Mille Miglia road race.
The critic visits Vicenza to marvel at the buildings of architect Andreas Palladio. He then travels to Possagno, birthplace of one of his favourite artists, sculptor Antonio Canova, and Padua, home of 18th-century scientist Giovanni Battista Morgagni- who was famous for anatomical demonstrations and primitive treatments for venereal diseases.
The journey concludes in Venice, where Brian arrives in time for the medieval carnival. In an effort to replicate the grand tour experience, he attends the Casanova masked ball, which he regards as a mockery of medieval tradition. He seeks solace from the revels by going to Mass.
