The introduction to all the characters and their role in their time - in a world where Canadian history has been modified to humour during the ages when the British ruled the land, where the French explored, and when the beaver was king. Set in the 18th century, the characters - Benny Broughton, Corporal Entwhistle, MacTavish, Colonel Boyle, Lady Hammond, and Misty Moon are detailed.
Lady Hammond is the most popular woman in the fort. She is the self-appointed New World correspondent for the London Social Gazette. Everyone wants their name in ink and and even Misty Moon shares some gossip. MacTavish holds the First Annual MacTavish Open Golf Classic- deep woods golfing for extreme golfers. MacTavish and everyone else entered are certain that they will win. The winner however is a surprise to everyone.
Nightlife in the fort is pretty exciting; if drinking and sleep are your kind of deal. After one-too-many prayers from Lady Hammond to the porcelain god of the wash-basin she decides to take a Sobriety Pledge. All the men of the fort laugh, until MacTavish discovers sobriety is good for the libido. With this in mind Misty Moon's bar is quickly empty. With only water to drink a mistake by Ti-Jean, the voyageur, turns the trading post into a coffee shop. Tempers begin to flare and only Lady Hammond seems to be benefiting from the Pledge. With Ti-jean and Misty Moon having problems with their relationship and everyone else suffering from not enough alcohol,perhaps it's the ""special"" blend of coffee she's been drinking.
Lady Hammond is craving the sophistication of English society. When a famous poet arrives at the fort she swoons with delight at hearing his poetry.Her heart is broken the next morning when Lord Wordsmith leaves, without a goodbye. MacTavish swears by Robby Burns and Blackfly gives poetry a go. His hopes are again dashed when Lady Hammond faints in his arms after hearing his poetry but goes no farther; her dress was too tight. It appears that The Lord of the Laundry didn't read the Dry-clean only label.
With the men of the fort starved for feminine refinements their prayers are answered by the news of the impending arrival of Cornel Boyle's daughter. Blackfly,Corporal Entwhistle and MacTavish each entertain fantasies of the coming English noblewoman; but everyone is shocked when voyageur Ti-Jean arrives, without the Lady. Blackfly and Entwhistle venture forth and after much excitement manage to bring back to the fort the damsel in distress. When she arrives all three men are smitten and the competition between them begins.
Lady Hammond, like any woman, loves to shop. MacTavish's trading post just doesn't seem to have what she needs. (MacTavish likes to think otherwise) When a smooth-talking salesman from the United States of America shows up Lady Hammond is struck but the ultimate dilemma, her daddy has no credit and no cash. With the five finger discount Lady Hammond purchases a coveted item. In payment the salesman asks for a home run, never mind first, second, or even third base! Enter: Blackfly to the rescue! With a little crossdressing and a big hat our little bug saves the day!
Everything is going smoothly at the fort; well, maybe not so smoothly. Entwhistle is gunning for action, Blackfly wants a raise, Misty Moon's supply of liquor seems to have come up short again and Colonel Boyle is battling foes of his own; kidney stones. When Blackfly asks MacTavish for a raise the thrifty Scot sites supply and demand as the reason not to reward Blackfly for all his hard work. Blackfly takes matters into his own hands and MacTavish gets a taste of supply and demand he wasn't expecting.
Colonel Boyle is still suffering over his crushing defeat at The Battle of the Big Green Hill by The Little Green Hill. To ease his mind a re-enactment of the battle is held. Blackfly wishes he were anywhere else but at Fort Simpson-Eaton because he was the Little Drummer Man that mislead the British at that crucial battle. Blackfly is frantic because Colonel Boyle might at last recognize him as the key to his military disgrace.
Nothing like sibling rivalry, or the Canadian Postal System. Corporal Entwhistle's twin brother, Lord Entwhistle, writes he is coming to the fort and MacTavish receives notice that he's been promoted.The thrifty Scot buys everyone a drink and a brief glimmer of the brotherly relationship between Blackfly and MacTavish is seen before MacTavish leaves. Corporal Entwhistle needs some way to impress his brother and proposes to Lady Hammond and Misty Moon. With no marriages planned Lady Hammod is content to plan Lord Entwhistle's funeral, he died before he could reach the fort. Even Blackfly tries to impress Lady Hammond with his temporary post as Chief Factor and takes the role alittle too seriously. Needless to say MacTavish may be doing some laundry if he comes back.
Winter is closing in and Dijon won't be back until spring. Blackfly wants to do something nice for him and Lady Hammond suggests a surprise party; they're all the rage in London! Blackfly takes Dijon for a walk in the woods while the others prepare. They soon get lost but the Chief rescues them and takes them to his hut, deep in the woods. Tempers fray and cabin fever takes over when they're storm-stayed and miss the party.
When Dijon discovers Entwhistle's wig and boots abandoned in the wilderness everyone but Blackfly believes he's dead. He and Dijon set out to look for Entwhistle and finally discover him alive and well in a native village. They want to take him back to the fort but now he'll only answer to the name Chief Pale Legs and he's more native than the natives! Dijon and Blackfly are flogged and taken prisoner for making fun of him. They manage to escape and return to the fort only to find it's been taken over by the Americans!
The commanders of several forts in the region have been murdered and Boyle fears for his life. In a comedy of errors Boyle thinks that a medicinal recipe Blackfly gave Dijon to cure a boil is actually a death threat. Dijon is arrested and while attempting to set things straight Blackfly manages to free Dijon, but finds himself sentenced to hang instead.
The French and English decide once and for all to settle the question of who is superior by competing in a series of tasks. The final competition is log rolling but Blackfly, once a member of the famous 'Shoutin' Broughton' log rolling family has lost his nerve. Can Lady Hammond help him overcome his fears and save the English from humiliation?
The inhabitants of the fort must put on a good show during the important annual treaty negotiations with the natives. Good food and entertainment are essential. When Blackfly finds that Misty Moon won't be available to do the cooking he turns to Lady Hammond, unfortunately Lady Hammond's enthusiasm far outweighs her culinary skills. When Blackfly decides she should make a recipe they find in Misty Moon's old cookbook they have no idea they're dishing up a magical brew.
The truth is revealed in this documentary-style episode when the real facts come to light about an explosive incident in the history of Fort Simpson-Eaton... the night a company of American soldiers paid a less than friendly visit!
Every spring the fur trappers make their way to the fort determined to drink and gamble themselves into oblivion. Lady Hammond begs Blackfly to stop Colonel Boyle from gambling with them. Blackfly does as she asks but it's Lady Hammond herself that succumbs to the ""Boyle Curse"". To save Lady Hammond, now deep in debt to the trappers, Blackfly calls on an old acquaintance, Stateside Bobby, an unsavory gambler. Stateside fleeces the trappers and frees Lady Hammond but what he wants in return may be too much to pay.
The fort is buzzing with excitement over the upcoming lacrosse playoffs between the fort favourites, the Ojibway Eagles, captained by the Chief and the Huron Hornets. Blackfly fancies himself an expert on the game and is miffed when the Chief ignores his advice. When Blackfly inadvertently destroys most of the Hornets team, he and others at the fort take their places. Finally Blackfly will get the chance to show the Chief what a great player he is!
The Company's Chief Factor comes to the fort and MacTavish and Blackfly vie for a promotion. But the Chief Factor has a roving eye and when it lands on Lady Hammond Blackfly and MacTavish are out of luck when hoping to woo Lady Hammond he makes her the boss.
Blackfly is smitten when Lauren, an old flame, arrives at the fort accompanied by her accident-prone son and a charismatic French priest. Blackfly soon falls under Lauren's spell again and even after he discovers she's lied to him about everything he can't resist doing whatever she asks.
The Earl of Pickersaill, a personal favourite of King George, arrives at the fort determined to shoot buffalo. Ignoring the fact that buffalo live two thousand miles west, Boyle sends Blackfly and the Chief hunting with him. The Earl dies after a nasty run in with a moose and Blackfly has to find a way to avoid taking the blame.
Blackfly is awestruck when the great Ben Franklin turns up at the fort. Franklin is charming and even though Boyle has him arrested he mesmerizes everyone at the fort. Blackfly laughs when the Jesuit tells him Franklin practices the dark arts…that is, until he joins him for dinner.
MacTavish mocks Blackfly's poetry but quickly discovers that Lady Hammond longs for a man with a poetic soul. In a fit of pique she dumps the pragmatic MacTavish and announces she'll marry Blackfly. Let the wedding plans begin!