The enjoyment of the great British countryside is interrupted by battling weather forecasters, a zombie version of "The Great British Bake Off" and a rural "Take Me Out" complete with exploding spanners. Badgers, badgers, badgers.
"Antiques Roadshow" and "Countdown" are transported to the field, will the panel of judges be impressed by the pan-pipe rendition of "Angels"? We meet Sue the Pig. Bacon, boats and toast also feature.
Dame Joan offers beauty tips to our host as he rides his exercise bike, "In The Frame" takes a look at a marvellous work depicting "The Jeremy Kyle Show" - in which Jeremy sorts out a naughty hamster.
"Question Time" is in Bath (quite literally), while on "Lorraine" Lorraine Kelly and Mark Heyes take a look at cheap fashion, including the latest must-have accessory - Owls.
In "Eastenders" Kat has a major announcement or three to make to Alfie. We join a tense World Championship quarter-final match between two of the sport's top players. But where is the cheese?
Today "In The Frame" will be taking a look at another painting of a woman with a guitar. We learn what is required to make the national dish of England and the health of a man is investigated. Where are the sausages?
James Martin shows us what makes a great Beef Pie. Meanwhile, on "Eastenders" Alfie and Kat's on-off relationship is back on again but after the wedding it is all over for the couple. But where is the coconut?
