* Jack meets Valerie Jane Turpett * Opening titles * Cinema sketch (featuring Calum Gilhooley) * 'Just an Ordinary Guy' (song) * Adverts * Little Girl – The Queen * Nice Family – Death of a Hamster * Don & George – Hamster Cage * Adverts * Don & George – Hamster Cage * Death * Questions at an American Immigration Desk * Death * Bert Bastard – Rowing Boat * Denzil & Gwynedd * The Commisionaire – Taxi * Closing Credits