The bears start off with talking about what prison would be like and trade some Al Capone stories from Alcatraz. Bert then reveals how he'd make love with his night terrors when he was younger and Tom shows Bert some neat things on his Instagram. Bert continues to struggle with his recent coming out as fat and is debating if shaving his entire body would be a good motivation for weight loss. Bert runs a couple of scenarios involving having sex with people that are not their wives. Tom tells Bert about a recent show on a Saturday late show in Charlottesville that devolved into pandemonium and hanging out with Chris Long. Bert tries to figure out the guest list to his secret celebrity football dinner then tries to guess the colors of their eyes. They talk about the comedians they bring on the road and start discussing possible gimmicks that would work well for comics. Then, they move back to the fat shaming argument and who is the actual delusional one and they face time with Pat McAfee.